To Know...

The Pagan Experience - To Know – To Will – To Dare and To Be Silent - These Four together are known as The Four Powers of the Sphinx and the Witch’s Pyramid. But, they are not limited to a specific spiritual path and show up in varying forms and combinations within all spiritual truths. So, holding the intention of exploring more deeply what these concepts mean to you, this month our focus is: To Be Silent. Use this month’s writing to dig a little deeper into what this topic means to you, both at the levels of the mundane and the spiritual…….

The common view of the witches pyramid puts 'To Be Silent' in association with the element of Earth. In my tradition and personal viewpoint, Earth is about embodiment - 'To Know'.

One of the benefits of aging for me is clarity. As I get older, I am beginning to see my life more clearly - what it has really been about and what it all means. It's been quite a journey so far, with many twists and turns, ups and downs, periods of beauty and heartbreak.

I'm on the brink of entering my 40th year. Four decades of adventure on this Earthwalk, and things are indeed becoming clear to me. I began my life on a homestead in upstate NY. We raised a good bit of our own food, hunted for more, and bought the rest from local farmers or an organic co-op. As a family, we spent a lot of time outdoors, hiking, camping, foraging for wild edibles and medicinals, and working in our garden. 

As I grew up, outdoor adventures continued in NC and NY. I became a competent paddler, sailor, and navigator with map and compass. I hiked uncountable miles, and taught myself backpacking. I cut my teeth on mountains (and caught mountain fever), forests, rivers, and the ocean. This part of my life was all about school, growing up, and survival.

Then I moved west to CO, and the adventures continued. Now I had a chance to learn about high altitude and alpine terrain - a habitat which felt deeply familiar and right to me. I got into rock climbing, mountaineering, mountain biking, and whitewater kayaking. A lot of my energy during this time was spent on various martial arts. I was training heavily in empty hand styles, as well as Renaissance fencing and archery. This part of my life was about study and becoming a functional human being.

Somewhere during my time in CO, I got lost. I was working at a corporate job, and it was a great one. I learned a lot and made a lot of friends. I attended college for a while during this time. But I longed to live in the mountains, and to do my true work in the world. For several years, I thought and thought, but I couldn't figure out how to get from where I was to where I wanted to go.

I hit a real crisis point, and I decided to make a bold move: to go on walkabout. I planned an expedition to hike the entire Appalachian Trail. I figured that this quiet time in nature would help me think things through, and I would figure out "what to do with my life".

That decision was the turning point in my life so far. While I only hiked half of the AT, the journey was far from over. I spent the next five years studying, building credentials in Yoga, spiritual leadership, and environmental education. I continued to have outdoor adventures, most notably flatwater paddling, which was fairly new to me. This part of my life, as it turns out, was about leadership and community building.

This year, as many of you know, I made another bold move: I retired from massage therapy and became a full-time travelling educator. It was terrifying to contemplate, but it turned out to be *exactly* what I needed on all levels of my being. It's been a tough year in many ways, but also an amazing and transformative one.

All of which I tell you so that I can share what I've learned, and what I know right now.

Here it is: 

• Magic works. What you call it doesn't matter: just use your will to shape your reality.
• The Universe WILL support you.
• You get a lot more support when you do what you really love.
• Most things will happen at the last minute, like that job offer you need, or the money to pay an emergency bill, etc.
• The best stuff lies hidden behind a wall of fear.
• Nature is the best medicine.
• One must walk the walk in addition to talking the talk.
• Be vulnerable and ask for help.
• People are what give life meaning.
• I am an introvert. Introverts can be very social, but need alone time to recharge.
• It's ok for your life to be messy.
• All of our seemingly unconnected skills, no matter how obsolete or odd, can come in handy.
• Always be grateful. Gratitude is the gateway to abundance.
• Everything good comes through networking, so cultivate your relationships carefully. 
• It's necessary to take the next step without knowing where your foot will land.

There have been many, many articles written about manifestation aka magic, and the power to transform one's life. This one is mine. Do it, it works. Things have a wiggly, unpredictable, and indirect way of manifesting at times, but they happen. Take the risk, be willing to be vulnerable, and you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams.

The process of magic starts with Air - we get inspired and dare to dream a different reality. Then we move to Fire, where we use our will to begin manifesting our desire. We take a break, so to speak, with Water, where we reflect and allow the whole working to "cook". With Earth, we walk the walk. In our physical space, we act as if our desire is already manifest. We tune our vibration to the vibration we seek to attract. We become that which we seek. Thus, the knowledge of what we seek begins to grow within us.

What I know is that information becomes knowledge. Knowledge with practice and reflection becomes embodied, and this becomes wisdom. That means that it infuses all levels of our being - body, mind, and spirit. This is the lesson of Earth for me, at this time in my life. The Earth will support my growth and learning. It will shelter me, love me, and inspire me. I can manifest my dreams on this Earth. All I have to do is practice, to walk the path, and to be that which I seek. This is what I know.

What I know, deeply and to the core of my being, is that this is the way for me. To envision new adventures, to manifest them through my will, to leap into the unknown. To face my fears and achieve more than I ever dreamed. To continue to learn, grow, and evolve. To trust that Goddess/God/Great Mystery, ancestors, animal totems, and spirit allies have my back. This is my way. This is what I know.

My life has come full circle. My love of nature has been a strong thread throughout my life, and now, it's how I make my living. I also get to use all of my varied, wacky, and in some cases, obsolete skills. I am blessed with a beautiful group of friends, some of whom are my chosen family. I work with many positive, inspiring, and talented human beings. I'm finding more and more of my tribe all the time. It's a beautiful, terrifying, magical, and crazy journey. It's messy at times. I do the best I can, and most importantly, I keep walking...one step at a time. May you do the same.

Hail Earth, our bountiful and loving home! Hail the inner knowing of true embodiment that is our strength! Namaste. Blessed be. Naho!

We Are Stronger Together

As a spiritual group, the Clan has no position on current events except this:

In order for the governmental process to work, we must remember that we are all related. Life is precious. Be respectful of others, *especially* when you disagree with them. Work toward the future in which you wish to live.

For empaths and other citizens who are upset by the election results or the unrest in our nation, remember that you are not alone. It's ok to feel all the feelings right now. Be present, feel what you feel, and send it to the Earth for recycling. Stick together with those you love.

Join me tonight and every night this week at 9p EST for a distance meditation. My intent is to hold space for our nation in turmoil, to be together, and to offer this mantra to the world:

"Om lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu."

May all beings be blessed, may my life serve all.

In the highest good of all beings, we offer energy and intent for healing, for necessary change, and simple presence in the now, difficult and bewildering though it may be. See you tonight!

Samhain Festivities

Our Clan celebrates Samhain on its astronomical date, this year 11/7, which is the true mid-point between Mabon and Yule.

For us, Halloween night was the beginning of a week long festival that culminates in a Samhain ritual. That night, we created a Samhain altar for our ancestors.

Each day, we light a candle in the window to guide the spirits. Each day, we perform a seasonal task, like creating a seasonal cornucopia or visiting the graveyard. 

I took a hike to remember my beloved dead, and I invited them to join me there. Grief had struck me pretty heavily, and I'm happy to say that after that hike, it receded to normal levels. Our tools work!

A most blessed Samhain to all! May you walk with the ancestors in this harvest of souls. Blessed be! Naho!

Pilgrimage of the Great Wheel: Great Dismal Swamp

This weekend, I had the opportunity to visit the Great Dismal Swamp, which is a point on the Pilgrimage of the Great Wheel. This sacred journey is something that has come to me in the last couple of years - I am visiting all the points of a great wheel of ley lines that covers the southeast of the US to experience their power and to honor these sacred places. Check out that linked post for details.

The Great Dismal Swamp is a lonely expanse of wood and marsh and swamp, and an area rich with history. It's a wildlife refuge, and was once used as a hideout on the Underground Railroad during the US Civil War. Local legends are rich concerning this place. It's a wild place, an impenetrable wilderness, a liminal space where the touches of civilization and law were light. What this land was to pre-European peoples I do not know, but I do know that they lived here - it was a vast region, once. To my eyes, it is a fascinating place. What secrets are hidden in its tangled wood? What lurks beneath its black waters? What do the fearsome stings of the swarming insects protect?

For me, this visit was a continuation of a period of intensive underworld work. The guardians of the underworld have made themselves known to me. I have been doing a great deal of journeywork, shadow work - working with the dark, hidden places within and below. Reflective, visionary work. Quiet, powerful work.

I spent the weekend mostly at the nearby Merchant's Millpond, which is another kind of swamp....a still place of towering cypress and tupelo gum, an enchanted, watery forest. A place in which the veil between the world is as thin as spider silk. A place where I was honored to witness a vulture feed. Turkey vultures and black vultures had found a deer, possibly lost in Hurricane Matthew, on the hummock of a cypress. There were birds at the carcass, birds in the branches, and yet more vultures circling in the sky above.

Sacred transformer, death eagle, purifier - I honor your wisdom! Teach me to soar on the thermals of life, conserving energy until opportunity presents itself. Teach me to ingest refuse, that which no longer serves, and bring it back into the great cycle, to take on new life and power my wings.

Teach me the mysteries of death, that gentle release that frees the spirit to carry on its journey. Teach me to release what is tired and worn-out and unnecessary, making space for the needed and new. Teach me, sacred Vulture!

When I came to the Great Dismal Swamp, I startled a vulture by the side of the road. It flew so close to me that it took my breath away. I was crawling along in my truck with all the windows down and there was this enormous bird, feathers looking more brown than black, with a mottled texture. It flew in front of me for some time before drifting into the woods.

Later, a Great Blue Heron led me deeper into the swamp, flying above the canal as I drove behind on the road. On and on it flew, gracefully gliding over the black waters...I honor you, heron! Teach me the ways of the stalker, the patient hunter who stands in the shallows, silent as a shadow, who strikes swift as an arrow.

Heron led me to Drummond Lake, which was much larger than I supposed. I paused here, ate and drank, made offering to the land. This writing is what happened next.


The voice of Spirit comes to me as the land.
Today, it says, do not hurry
do not do.
Today, sit in the swamp wind and be.
Simply exist.
Be present with the holly and the honeysuckle
the fox grape, the sumac, and the corpse berry.
Soak up the last sun of autumn,
glowing golden timeless time,
like the turtle on driftwood silver and brown
let the tiny yellow moth draw you in
to the meadow, sere and dry
wooly marsh grass waving like flags in the breeze

Today the voice of Spirit beckons
come and be with me
Commune with me as this place
Mother grandmother swamp
Listen to your sisters the songbirds
Listen to your mother the waters burbling
Watch your brothers, the waves
Let the four winds cleanse you
and father sky lift you up.

Be.
Be as one with the land
Exist in this dying time,
last blazing of beauty
before winter's sleep

Today I honor the Great Mystery
that moves within all things.
Today, I am free.

- JN 10/30/16


This weekend was passed in the dark of the Moon. I paddled the waters, I walked the land, I bathed in
the sun, listened to the rain, drank in the starlight, was cleansed by the winds, and offered my songs to the land. Mother grandmother swamp, I honor you! Your waters fill my dreams and draw me deep, deep below, to the underworld, the land of the ancestors, the home of the fae, kingdom of the Horned One.

I honor you, Great Medicine Wheel of Jomeokee! Great Guide, this pilgrimage I make in your honor. This land I walk to gain your wisdom, each step trodden by countless ancestors who have gone before me. Fill me with your medicine. Teach me, Great Guide. Lead me on...

Blessed be! Naho!

The Season of Samhain Begins

This began as a facebook status update that I wrote last night, and I like it so much that I wanted to share it with the blogosphere. The season of Samhain has begun!

The expression of one's soul can never be lost. It is reflected in others, because we are all connected (like it or not). What is truly ours never leaves us forever- all things ebb and flow in this great dance of creation. 

Like ripples in a pond, we flow on; like the flashing of lightning, we come and go so quickly...echoes of generations of souls learning and loving and losing, finding and remembering, knowing and meeting once more. The season of Samhain is upon us, my tribe. 

It is time to burn away and shed what no longer serves. It is the time of the final harvest, my beloveds- the harvest of souls. On the farms, the slaughter begins. In the wild, the hunt is on. We care for our land, pruning and clearing and mulching. We scurry to complete our work of preparing for winter, gathering, processing and storing away the fruits of the land. 

When Samhain comes, we put on the last of the harvest feasts. We can set a place or places for those who have gone before. It is time to commune with our beloved dead, now as the veil grows thin. We remember, we recite their names, we tell their stories, we honor our ancestors. 

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future."

Blessed be! Naho!

Happy Mabon

The school at which I teach and reside celebrated the fall harvest this weekend with a giant party. The purpose of it was to raise funds for an awesome school program, but the true meaning of event was about Mabon, the second harvest.

Mabon is traditionally celebrated on the Fall Equinox, which occurred on September 22, just after 10:00 AM EDT. This is not the actual moment of equal night and day, but instead refers to the Earth's position on the celestial equator. We are now three quarters of the way through the solar year. This is considered the beginning of Autumn.

Lore about Mabon also discusses the time of equal day and equal night, which didn't occur until September 25. Little known fact: the times of the longest night, longest day, or equal day and night do not typically line up exactly with the solstices and equinoxes. This information isn't stored in any one place that I have found, but it can be dug up with the assistance of NASA.

SIDEBAR: I'm very interested in this, because the Old Religion, or what we know of it from archeology, is very much about archeoastronomy, or ancient astronomy. It's about measuring time, and marking the passage of the seasons through ritual and celebration, aka the Wheel of the Year. For me, doing these things adds such a richness to one's life, and a real connection to the land and the cyclical nature of our world.

But back to Mabon. We are now deep into the harvest season which began at Lughnasadh, the grain harvest. At Mabon, we harves fruits, berries, nuts, and seeds. Where I live, it's time to harvest and preserve staghorn sumac, apples, chestnuts, spicebush berries, partridge berries, hog peanuts, acorns, and paw paws.

All through the harvest season, we bring in the crops, both physical and metaphorical. We can, freeze, dry, pickle, jam, and candy all these wonderful fruits of the Earth to prepare for the lean times of winter. It's a time for the whole community to come together to complete this important work, and a time to celebrate all the abundance with which we are blessed.

Spiritually speaking, we consider what projects and intentions we nurtured through the year. It is time to
harvest them as well. What have we been growing with our magical work? What did we envision last Yule, dedicate ourselves to at Imbolc, bless the seeds for at Ostara, and sow at Beltane? How did these things grow? What have we gained and learned?

For me, this year has been rich. I am truly blessed and for this, I am so grateful. My physical health has improved. I have found a wonderful community. The work I am doing is fulfilling, and is furthering my personal and professional growth. The land on which I am blessed to live is so beautiful, and so abundant with life. Life is busy and good.

This weekend, our community came together to prepare a giant feast. The food was largely grown on our farm or collected wild from our land. If we didn't grow or gather it, we bought it from a local farmer or vintner. It was amazing, and quite a production. We decorated our great hall beautifully with flowers, fruit, and greenery. After the feast, we continued our merrymaking with song and dance, which was easy to do with all of the musical talent in our community.

Right now, I feel such a sense of contentment and ease. I know that I am in the right place, with the right people. I am on the path. My harvest is rich. I am thankful!

I hope that your Mabon, your harvest, is rich and abundant. I hope that it sustains you through the winter. May you be blessed with food, shelter, love, and community. May you know the contentment and gratitude that comes with the hard work of harvest. May the beauty of Autumn soothe and comfort your soul. A blessed Mabon to all.

Blessed be and naho!

To Feel...

This post is part of The Pagan Experience, a group of writers of Earth-centered faiths. This is part of a series about the process of magic as framed by the five sacred elements - Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Spirit. What does 'to feel' mean, on both a mundane and spiritual level?

To feel is to dive deep into the dark Waters of life, the swirling, hidden, uncertain, fruitful waters of dream and intuition, the waters of the Goddess's womb, the waters of our infinite hearts. Feeling is about surrender. We can choose to try to control our experiences at every moment, or we can surrender to the flow of existence, with all the folly and unexpected surprises that brings to us and simply feel.

When we give way to the all-pervading embrace of Water, we can truly explore the mystery of this Earthwalk. We are spiritual beings in fleshy bodies, having a wonderful adventure in time and space. These bodies are fascinating interlocking systems of stimulus and response, loaded with sensory perception. When we surrender to feeling, we inhabit our bodies deeply, and we experience our existence in a rich, full way.

The varied sensations we explore in Water are both sensations in our bodies and emotions in our hearts. As we explore our external world, we feel a variety of sensations - the warmth of the Sun on our skin, the joy of movement, the cool breeze, the pleasures of love, the delights of food and drink, the unforgettable smells that cue our memory so poignantly, the pains of injury, and on and on.

We feel these things so deeply, and we simultaneously experience a flood of emotion that is intertwined with the physical sensations. In many cases, an emotion itself involves a physical sensation. For example, after the day is done, you may be lying in bed, and you remember something stressful...and suddenly your chest is tight and a knot forms in your belly. On the positive side, you have looked at someone you love and felt a flood of warmth, softness, and joy that 'melts your heart'.

When we are immersed in feeling, we are connected to the Great Mystery, for it experiences the physicality and emotions of daily life through us. We are the mystery, a microcosm of the greater macrocosm that is the Mystery, a tiny part that nonetheless contains the whole. The Mystery looks out of
our eyes, sharing our wonder at the majesty of creation.

Living in flow, connected to all the feelings of body and heart center, we are also more deeply connected with others. To share the joy and pain of life with others is to have compassion for their suffering and bliss. It brings us to the understanding that we have so much in common - we all breathe the same air, walk under the same sun, howl at the same moon, and long for connection, belonging, and love.

"We live by the sun
We feel by the moon
We move by the stars

We live in all things
All things live in us

We call to each other
We listen to each other
Our hearts deepen with love and compassion

We live in all things
All things live in us"

-Stephanie Kaza (excerpt)

This kind of heart-centered, watery way of living in flow is a lunar way of being. The Moon is the progenitor of tides, both in the world's oceans, and in our hearts and beings. Women, especially, are cyclical beings who ebb and flow each month in tune with the cycle of the Moon. The Moon makes the waters rise and fall, and our hearts follow suit. When the Moon is full, we are full of energy and emotion, filled with inspiration and creativity. When the Moon is dark, we are reflective, immersed in dreams and visions. Knowing this mystery is a way of power - knowing when to work, when to create, when to rest, and when to dream in time with the Moon...these things the wise practitioner knows.

Surrendering to the flow of feeling is the next step in the process of magic. From a prior post: "Knowing what you want is Air - getting inspired by a certain scenario and daring to believe it's possible. Working toward it, manifesting it, is Fire, where lives the Will. Choose it, choose it, choose it again." 

With Water, we allow our work to marinate, to "cook" or ferment, if you will. We reflect. We let the working rattle around in our subconscious, making all the mysterious connections with our personal set of experiences, symbols, and archetypes. Often information then bubbles up like a spring from our unconscious through dream, vision, or intuition. It may be a missing link in our thinking, or the idea that changes our life, allowing the fullness of our vision to manifest in the physical world. The ideas and wisdom that come to us in this way express the deepest truths within us. We know their rightness, we can feel it deep inside.Some people make the mistake of thinking that working magic is a linear, goal-oriented, action plan type of endeavor. This is the narrative that our dominant culture teaches us - decide what you want, figure out how to get it, work hard, achieve. Right? 

Not so - we get inspired, we do a working focused on what we want (not how to get it), then we enter the passive, reflective phase. We surrender to flow and *feel* the work we have done, and the changes it is already working within us. That is the lesson of Water - feeling, surrendering, flowing, reflecting, dreaming.

There is an ebb and a flow to magical working. In Air, we catch a dream as it blows by on the wind. In Fire, we glow with intensity as we work toward our intention. In Water, we flow...we reflect. It is a passive ebb in the cycle of magical working. 

Working with Water is a practice of non-doing. After all, Water must be calm to reflect our image clearly. 

Blessed be. Naho!