That's a Wrap

With eight unwritten weekly posts and the calendar well into 2015, I have to admit that the Pagan Blog Project for 2014 is over. I'm not going to catch up, and today I have to admit it. I hate to leave things undone! Still, I enjoyed it immensely. Through this project, I encountered many interesting Pagans. I learned about all sorts of paths. I made a friend or two. I learned a lot.

It's been a wild year. I started this blog, left my old coven, got ordained, had a great Pagan Pride Day, founded my coven and much more. It's hard to believe how much happened in 2014, and I'm still standing! In fact, I feel more optimistic than ever. 2015 is going to be my best year yet.

Thank you to Jess Carlson for the Pagan Blog Project. Thank you to the PBP community. Thank you to my friends who encouraged me to write publicly. Thank you, people of the internets, for reading! Drop me a line, say hello. 2015 is about to get live!!!

Next Year's Yule Celebration

My sun wheel for 2014

This year, my Yule celebrations began with the Sun Wheel Ceremony. Along with many people across the globe, I created a yule wreath and placed candles in it. Each Sun-day from Thanksgiving week to Solstice, I lit the candles and meditated on the season. It was a beautiful, simple ritual and I enjoyed it.

But what's this good Pagan to do during the season of Yuletide itself? I have struggled over the years with reclaiming holiday traditions. My biological family loves Christmas and has a host of traditions around it. Unfortunately, my family also created a lot of stress and unhappiness for me, which further complicates this time of year.

This year, I went on a long trip. It was great. I didn't have to participate in any Judeo-Christian traditions! For the first time in many years, I was free from sensory bombardment with messages from a faith not my own. It was bliss, in that regard. There was just a little bit of Christmas on the ship, but it was easy to avoid.

Next year, I'd like to celebrate Yule as a 13 day, 12 night extravaganza, drawing from the Germanic, Italian and Norse traditions of my ancestry. For my purposes, this period will begin the eve of winter solstice (~Dec. 20) and end January 1. The concept behind this tradition is to rest and celebrate during the gap between the lunar year and the solar year. The idea of reflecting on the past year and envisioning the new year to come resonates deeply with me.

One source I found suggests performing divination each night corresponding to the coming 12 months. So on Mother's Night (solstice eve; Christmas eve makes no sense to me as a Pagan), I would divine for January. Solstice night, divine for February…and so on. I love this idea not only because of the practical benefits it provides, but also because this is an easy, portable tradition.

Another tradition I found is that of wassailing or blessing the trees. The way that I'll practice this is to go into the forest with animal-appropriate offerings like seeds and nuts, plus spiritual offerings like tobacco and cornmeal. I'll knock on the trees and give them the good news about the return of the light, then leave offerings for the dryads and other forest dwellers. An excuse for a spiritual hike? Yes, please!

This year was a sort of holiday detox. I had an extremely minimal holiday celebration. Mostly, I lounged about in the Caribbean. Next year, I'll get back to work on reclaiming the holidays. I pledge to stay in town for Solstice itself - after all, I have a coven to lead now. But this liminal period between the years…may find me wandering again. Either way, it will be a time of celebration, rest, reflection and dreaming up adventures for the following year. I'll spend time with those I love and those who support my journey. I also plan to do some service work, including a free yoga class as a gift to my students.

Here's to hoping your holidays were bright and joyous, and that you have a blessed New Year full of prosperity and new experiences!

Yule on the Ocean

Ocean Sunrise by Bluefinger

I emerged on to the deck when it was still dark. Walking around to the stern of the ship, the darkness faded into the gray of pre-dawn. Chaco sandals and my water bottle kept my yoga mat grounded in the gusty breeze. The sound of the ship's engine drowned out my voice as I began to chant:

"Long night, dark of the sun
cold wind, the year is done
long night, we face the dark
cold wind, you fan the spark
sun light, the rising sun
dark wind, your work is done
Oh sun return, turning wheel
hope reborn"*

A folded beach towel became my meditation cushion as I pondered all the dark places in my soul that need light and guidance from the Gods. A short, urgent list of things to release spilled from my throat. I no longer need them. They do not serve my journey.

The wind continued as I began to move my body. I'd intended to perform twelve sun salutations, but I lost count. Numbers seem irrelevant this morning as time seems to be passing at some unknown tempo. I salute the sun in all his varied guises…Surya, Helios, Apollo, Lugh, Cernunnos, Pan. Runners circle around me on the track, indifferent to my spiritual bliss.

It seemed that the sun ought to be up by now. Will I see it from here? I've never witnessed dawn on the deep ocean before. I lie back for some savasana. Then some silent, inner impulse tells me to rise. Ah, the sun begins to break over the horizon. I am filled with joy and hope, knowing that from here on out, the light will return. Each day will be longer, my journey a little easier.

In thanksgiving, I chant again:

"Apollo, Cernunnos, Ganesha, Pan
Lugh, Horned One, Odin, Green Man"**

The cruise ship was a microcosm of America's consumerist, overstimulated culture. But for this moment, along with most dawns…I found peace. I connected with my spiritual practice, and with the Gods. I watched the rays of the sun flood the sea.

Namaste to all - the divine light within me honors the light within you.


*Source: http://www.sanfords.net/Pagan_Humor_and_Thoughts/chants.htm#Sun%20Return
**My own version of the nine gods chant, based on the nine goddess chant recorded by various artists

Yoga Magic

When we work magic, there are basic elements present in most every working. First, there must be clear intent. Then, energy must be raised and applied to the working. Lastly, the working is released. This is, of course, a simplification and distillation of a very complex subject.

Today I want to talk about ways to raise energy for magical work using techniques from Yoga. Yoginis and witches should, in theory, have some overlap in their skill sets. Both traditions include breath control, chanting, meditation, mudras and visualization.

But to be honest, the most detailed and disciplined information I have about almost all of these things has come to me through my studies in Yoga. The current members of my coven also have more experience with Yoga than they do with magic as we Pagans know it, though they're really one and the same.

At our first ritual, we used pranayama to raise energy for our working. This was extremely effective. Click through the link to see details. I mention in that post that I doubt the yogis of old used the Breath of Fire in quite this way. But who knows? Magic is simply directing energy with will toward a desired end. The yogic texts are not clear on the goals of the practitioners beyond spiritual bliss. I'd love to know, truth be told. To what end all the meditation and energy raising? Is it simply to increase health and longevity? Or is there more to the story?

This weekend's full moon found us chanting to raise energy. Chanting is a great example of overlap between witchcraft and Yoga. I could easily have chosen a pagan chant, but…confession time. Many of them make me feel faintly ridiculous. Perhaps it's the fact that they're in English. Anyone else out there feel that English doesn't lend itself to spiritual topics well? In addition to the words, Yogic chants utilize sounds effectively - vowels are drawn out, for example. The technique of chanting in Yoga is, I feel, part of why it works. Whatever the reason, a mantra to Ganesh felt most appropriate that night - Aum Gan Ganapatye Namah. This mantra is great for new ventures as it calls upon Ganesha's obstacle removing powers. Surely one can apply these techniques to Pagan-themed words. Had I prepared in advance, I surely could have found an appropriate deity and come up with something. A project for later!

One area that I have had a lot of success in merging Yoga with Pagan belief is in asana (physical postures). I have written several themed Yoga classes using physical poses for devotion to Pagan deities. Artemis was first - this one was so easy. I used postures appropriate to Her, like Bow Pose. Whether or not the poses are specific to the deity or to the theme, one can dedicate any physical Yoga practice to Deity. Sun salutations were designed to salute the sun, who the Hindus greet as Surya. We might relate to the sun as Helios, Apollo, or Lugh. Insert appropriate Deity and go for it!

There is so much more to explore. I have been consciously creating a system of Pagan Yoga, but until recently, I hadn't thought of altering ritual work with Yoga techniques. That has happened organically and I find it fascinating. We aren't your typical coven, that's for sure. Be ready to move…and bring your Yoga pants.

Rune Song

Working with the runes has been a part of my practice since the beginning. But in the last year, my study of them has grown far deeper and richer, thanks in part to my awesome study group (three years of awesomeness and going strong!). We just finished up about eight months of rune study focused on Freya Aswynn's book, Northern Mysteries and Magick: Runes & Feminine Powers. Next year, we will work through Diana Paxson's Taking Up the Runes.

Sidebar: working with a spiritual study group is a powerful practice and one that supports your own journey in beautiful and unexpected ways. If you get a chance, try it!

One thing I have not conquered so far is the ability to recite all the Elder Futhark at once in the traditional order. The ability to do so is important in magical workings. I'm excited to use it for creating sacred space, for example. I'd also like to use it in meditation and in my practice of Yoga.

Taking Up the Runes helpfully contains a song of the Futhark. An ABC song, if you will. As the resident musician in the study group, I was asked to learn it. This suits me as I'd planned to do so anyway. This led to a hilarious few days in which I learned the simple melody and then giggled endlessly about it. It's curiously mournful. In fact, it reminds me of black metal music.

To help others learn the song, I recorded it. Initially, I was just going to share it with my study group. But in one of those synchronicities that reveal our path to us…Facebook will not upload and share an mp3 file. So I had to convert it to video and post it on Youtube. Which made me realize I need to start my own channel. Hurray!

Anyhoo. Back to the rune song. It's firmly stuck in my head, and after just a few days…I can recite all the runes! The act of singing them with a melody was what I needed to get over the hump of memorization. Belatedly, I seem to recall that this is a technique people use. Spoiler alert: it works!

So take a listen and see what you think. Can you hear some power chords and spooky organ music with it? I can. Stay tuned…that might happen!

May this help you on your own rune journey. And please, like, share and subscribe as the Youtubers say!

Xignal Boost: Annual Sun Wheel Ceremony

Our local tarot expert, Beth Owls Daughter, has a beautiful idea. Each Sun-day between now and Solstice or Christmas, people all around the globe will light a candle and pray or meditate. This year's intention is "from within the sacred dark, we arise with the returning Light."

Regardless of faith or tradition, we can all join together in celebrating the season of the light's return at winter solstice, or the birth of Jesus, as you prefer. Taking this quiet time to join with others is a lovely way to go within and honor the introspective energy of this dark time of year.

I'm in. Are you?


The following is excerpted from Beth Owls Daughter's blog. View the original post here.

The Concept

It’s very simple. You only need a wreath and five candles. Starting with the first week, around dusk wherever you live, you’ll light one candle, meditate a bit, then extinguish the flame. The next week you light the first candle, and then a second one. And so on, until the final candle on Winter Solstice, Christmas, or both.

This ritual may remind you of the Christian tradition of lighting candles around an Advent wreath. That practice is descended from older Pagan observances that marked the advent of the Winter Solstice. (Advent simply means “the coming of”).

You can easily adapt this to be in harmony with your own dreams, desires, and beliefs. I encourage you to join the countless families and individuals throughout the world, Christians and non- , and to share it with your friends and beloveds.

What a Geek - Coven Administration is fun!

Founding my coven, Clan of the Wildlings, has been an exciting and awesome experience on many levels. One of them warms the cockles of my geeky heart: administration. Yes, you read that sentence correctly. There is a High Priestess out there in the world who digs the organizational details.

And why not? Building a website, creating a Facebook page, designing business cards…these are just a different form of magic. With each keystroke, our clan gains more reality. With each moment of focus, the manifestation of my vision grows. Just that would be magical enough to be worthwhile.

But for my geeky heart, organization has another function: clarity. I like things to be clear, in all areas of my life. In matters of spirit, doubly so. All members of the clan need to know what they are getting into and what is happening - for the highest good of us all.

To that end, I created what I have called a foundational document. I got the idea from my time in the corporate world, plus some research here on the interwebs. This document contains the bare bones of the coven's structure, mission, holidays, etc.

Here are is a list of the headings, for your reference:

• Leadership
• Members
• Officers
• Covenstead
• Sub-groups (similar to the different paths within Druidry, for example - arts, healing, war, clergy, etc)
• Legal Status (are you a non-profit?)
• Legal rituals (weddings)
• Age Limit
• Documents (list of core organizational docs)
• Degrees
• Dress Code
• Mission Statement
• Vision Statement
• Membership Qualifications
• Membership Process
• Leaving the Group
• Attendance Requirements
• Holidays
• Temple (I'd like to build one someday)

In addition to the foundational document, I made a few other documents to start the clan in an orderly fashion:

• Seekers Questionnaire
• Member's Oath
• Code of Ethics
• 13 Goals of a Witch
• Ritual Etiquette

But the thing that may have the most geekily excited? The Clan Records document. It's in Excel format (look away, traditionalists!), one tab per topic:

• Log - in which we record dates, ritual names, attendees, and notes about each event.
• Expenses (receipts filed in our group BOS)
• Income - donations, fundraising, etc (we do not have regular dues)
• Roster - list of members, contact info, birthdays, allergies

All of these documents are available to all members at all times. Having worked as a project manager in another life, one thing I feel very strongly about is organizational transparency. While we as Pagans are part of a mystery tradition, which has secrets by its very nature…the way that the coven is run does not have to be one. In my opinion, groups are stronger when everyone knows what is going on and what is expected of each member. It builds a culture of trust and accountability. I strive to be the kind of leader that people follow not because I hold power over them, but because they trust and respect me.

If you're interested in this new paradigm of leadership and of organizational transparency, click on the links in the above paragraph. I love honoring ancient wisdom in my spirituality. I look often to ancestors, including those of blood, intellect and spirit. But I also use the modern knowledge that I have gained in my life. Organization, good administration, transparency, fair leadership…all of these things support a healthy coven. The mission of my group is to nurture a balance of body, mind and spirit. Using my geek skills is one way in which I do that - for the highest good of all, with harm to none.

Blessed be!

Traveling Spiritual Supplies

What spiritual tools do you carry with you when you travel? When I'm in town or near home, it tends to be a priestessing kit. I'll have the ingredients for home cleansing, simple ritual and divination. When I'm away from home, it's more of a spiritual practice kit. This of course changes depending on the type of trip, and may at some point expand to include both general spiritual practice and priestessing work. Right now I have to keep it pretty tight as the bag I have at the moment will only hold so much.

Perhaps at some point I'll get a slightly larger bag, or maybe a small hard sided suitcase type of thing. We shall see! It does amuse me how I just don't seem to be able to travel so light as I once did. This kit allows me to do personal divination, my daily gratitude practice, devotionals and meditation. Plus healing work, which is 24/7/365 for me.

So here we go! This is what I typically carry with me on trips:

(Left to right in the photo)

• Tarot cards & book
• Earphones for meditation in noisy places
• Sandalwood mala
• Wooden shaker
• Medicine bag
• Pagan prayer beads
• Pendulum
• Incense
• Crystal attuned for healing work
• Pashmina (instant altar cloth, ritual vestment, or for meditating in cool places)
• Journal
• Gratitude journal

Of course, if I'm really being complete, I would also mention the pile of Yoga gear which accompanies this kit. I haven't travelled without it in some time now. That adds on a Yoga mat, blanket, bolster and the sheepskin shown in the photo above. And my native flute, which is a daily practice as well.

Agh, so much stuff! But I tell you this: the continuity of being able to perform the same practices each day…it is delightful. I feel it has truly strengthened my overall spiritual practice in recent years. It doesn't matter where I go, I pray, meditate and practice Yoga every day. To me, this is witchcraft and this is shamanism. The heart of my practice is self-discovery, devotion and spiritual exploration. I have created the support I need to truly live my faith, not just on Sabbat or Esbat days, but every day. 

To me, this is right. Magic is here and now, all around us and within us, all the time. There really IS no mundanity. Everything and every moment is sacred.

My Clan

This week my new coven, Clan of the Wildlings, gathered for the very first time. We celebrated the full Frost Moon on a beautiful evening around a roaring fire.

I'd written our ritual weeks in advance, and it was beautiful. I also did some final tweaks on it the afternoon of the ritual, forgetting that I didn't have access to a working printer. Traffic was awful, so there was no way I could stop at a copy center. Knowing that I at least had the Charge of the Goddess on my phone, I resolved to wing it.

In retrospect, this seems entirely apropos. I have been a witch for lo, this many years, and really could have led a group long ago. It took a long time for me to gain the confidence. So at this final moment of truth, it felt like the Gods were testing me:

"Here's your chance, kid. Get in there and do it from your heart."

The group got there right on time and we all pitched in to ready the space. The weather was gorgeous. We had a lovely space with a fire pit, big picnic table, camp chairs and a folding altar table. Just setting up the altar brought it home to me - this is real, this is happening RIGHT NOW. I put out the very first ritual tools I made for myself 20 years ago. The Goddess was represented by a conch shell horn, while the God was represented by a ceramic stag statue.

The night was cool, so I slipped on my fake fur ritual robe (aka the Snuggle Robe). With it, I wore a simple circlet of natural fiber cordage that I made with my summer camp kids, moccasins and my medicine pouch. A shamanistic witch indeed. I'd instructed the clan to wear things that made them feel comfortable and powerful. Each did that in their own way - a beautiful thing to my eye.

I'm of the opinion that one oughtn't talk too much about magical work, but I will share one thing. We raised energy for our working with pranayama (yogic breathing exercises). What more appropriate way for a bunch of witches who love Yoga? It was a great suggestion from one of our members and I liked it so much that we're sure to do it again.

We began with some simple synchronized deep breaths. From there, we moved to a three part breath - breathing deeply into the belly, then the ribcage, then the upper chest. Next, we practiced a four part breath - inhale, pause, exhale, pause. We ended with the Breath of Fire, an invigorating breath. it's incredibly effective for raising energy, though I doubt that the yogis of old used it in quite this way.

By the time we completed our ritual, I was walking on air. We feasted and had a really great discussion about what led each of us to this night. Another great member suggestion! One thing I really love about working with a group is the diversity of stories and ideas. Our group is no exception. We are small right now, but mighty!

My heart is so full that it took me several days to process the experience enough to write about it. Many years of searching came to an end that night. I've found my clan, and we are off to a beautiful start. I can't wait to see where our path takes us!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. To the Gods, who pushed and prodded me into founding this group. To my study group of sister witches, who have supported me and listened to all my grandiose ideas. To my old coven, who welcomed me so warmly. To my High Priestess, who has given me so much. I am honored to be a part of our little informal tradition. I am also honored to be carrying on the torch of my ancestors, both of blood and spirit. Thank you. I will do my level best to make you all proud.

Blessed be!

Quietly Healing with Samhain

One of the things I love most about the traditions of our faith is their healing, therapeutic effect on the human psyche. During the years of my own spiritual seeking, I always asked myself two questions when evaluating a tradition or practice:

1. How does this make me feel? If I am inexplicably drawn to it, if it sounds my inner bell of "rightness", it's probably a good addition to my spiritual toolbox.

2. Does it work for me? If I feel the alleged benefits or other positive effect, it's probably a good addition to my spiritual toolbox.

Samhain is a time to honor and communicate with our beloved dead. It is the third harvest, the harvest of souls. In many cultures and time periods (including today, in some areas), it was the time of the animal harvest. Livestock were slaughtered to get us through the long, dark days of winter. This also provided enough resources for the rest of the animals to survive the winter as well.

The practice of actively engaging with our ancestors, allies and other dearly departed is a deeply therapeutic one. Culture in the US does not lean this way, overall. In general, death is something to be avoided, distanced from, sanitized and commercially packaged…like everything else. What this leads to is often less effective grieving and delayed healing for the survivors.

I would know. In my short life, I have lost an entire immediate family, plus a lover and many close friends. When my family passed, I inherited the family antiques. For a time, I set up my home with these items and with family portraits. It was too much. I felt I was living in a mausoleum. I sold most of the antiques and put the portraits away.

For years, years in which I did not always formally celebrate the Sabbats, I simply couldn't bear my losses. I unconsciously avoided the ancestral aspect of Samhain. I shut down my emotions on many levels. I didn't speak to my beloved dead or engage with them in any way. It was too painful. Holidays became excruciating. Movies and shows portraying happy families were brutal. It was all just too much.

I made a few attempts, here and there, but it just didn't take.

Fast forward to today. I have built a family of my own. I have been practicing with a coven for several years. I'm an active part of the local Pagan community. This year, I met a medicine woman who does ancestral work. I began to actively engage with my dead. I maintained a table of light. I set up an ancestor altar.

Last night I went and celebrated Samhain with the lovely folks of Church of the Earth. We did very little formal ritual and a whole lot of silent communion with our dead. We had a wonderful Dumb Supper out in a grove. Tables were widely scattered through the clearing, beautifully set with china and crystal for our ancestors. The sounds of classical cello drifted through the crisp night air. When not dining, we quietly sat around a crackling fire pit.

Afterwards, I noticed something big. I didn't cry. I felt emotional, but not dysfunctional. I slowly realized that I'm no longer crushed by grief. Sure, I will always miss these people who are so dear to me. There are times when it is poignant and intense. But last night, at the supper, I caught them up on my news. I told them about the joy and love that is now in my life. About the hard work of building my career and my coven.

This morning I woke up and felt calm. Through my morning Yoga practice, I began to realize that this is what healing feels like. My family and close friends will always be a part of me, and their loss has helped to define who I am as a person. But it's ok. It really is. I can now smile and tell their stories without dissolving into a weeping mass.

So for me, the tradition of Samhain passes the test. It makes me feel good, and it works.

A blessed Samhain to all. May you too be healed by its cleansing power.

Unity at Pagan Pride

This weekend, central North Carolina celebrated Pagan Pride Day (PPD) with a weekend-long festival. We are blessed to have a lovely little corner of the state fairgrounds in Raleigh, with trees, a lake view and some privacy for those still in the broom closet. Being so close to Mabon was an extra magical blessing for the festival as well.

This year I was able to spend the entire weekend at the festival, and I'm so glad that I did. I've been in the Raleigh area for five years now, and I'm beginning to reap the harvest of community building for myself. It was hard to get anything done at the festival, because I constantly kept running into friends, colleagues and acquaintances. This is a joy and a blessing to me, and truly a new thing.

I won a gift bag from Tree of Life Designs!

Though I have been an actively practicing Pagan for over 20 years, I haven't always been this lucky. To me, it is still a beautiful and wondrous thing to know so many wonderful Pagans. I know a couple of vendors. I'm familiar with the local shops. I know drummers and dancers, hoopers and fire spinners. I know people from several of the local groups. I now run a local group myself. We're coming up on our one year anniversary, in fact - this December will mark a year of South Wake Spiritual Community!

All this only strengthens my passion for community building. I truly believe that we are stronger together, no matter what our individual path may be. Of course, as an interfaith priestess, I believe this about all people, but right at the moment I'm referring to the Pagan community. We have become so incredibly diverse, and this year's PPD showcased that fact as well. I had a lovely discussion with a gentleman at a local Heathen group's booth. I met a gentleman who is a veteran of years of Pagan community building in the northeast.

I was honored to assist the Triangle Area Pagan Alliance (TAPA) with the group ritual on Saturday. The ritual focused on the spirits of place and it was lovely. I acted as a den mother for the people in the southern quarter of the circle. We called out to the land spirits, to the nature spirits, to the bounty of the fruit harvest in this fertile area. TAPA, for those that don't know, is a group committed to bringing Pagans together in this area and to connecting people with local groups.

My roundtable discussion, Nourishing Healthy Elder Culture, was a success. My goal was twofold: I wanted to introduce the concept of elder culture into our local community and to gauge the needs of our local elders. It turns out that our elders need to connect with each other and to receive training in how to assume the role of eldership. These are some pretty achievable goals, and I will be happy to help. I plan to facilitate an Elder Council at next year’s PPD. I’d also like to organize an elder-led ritual at PPD. I’ll also create a forum, whether it be on Meetup, Yahoo Groups or Facebook, for elders to connect with each other.

Somewhere in all the chaos, I also got to attend a workshop on bellydance and one on the magical uses of seven day novena candles. Both were delightful and very useful to me personally. I did some shopping. I danced. I also chatted with a few people about the South Wake Spiritual Community.

But most importantly, I basked in the positive energy of our local Pagan community coming together in unity at PPD. It was a joy and delight just to be there, people watching and listening to music. So many kinds of people, all harmoniously co-existing. Each marching to the beat of their own drummer. All sparkling threads in the tapestry of our community. To me, this shows that peace is possible. It can be done and we're doing it!

Blessed be!

Putting my Money where my Mouth Is: Self-Care

The past few years, I have been putting my money where my mouth is, so to speak, in the area of self-care. Historically, that has been a tricky and spotty thing for me. It's ironic considering my career in helping others improve their health. This year has been especially good and I'm proud of myself. One thing I have noticed is that I do best when I am able to carry out my dinacharya (daily routine) without rushing.

I get thrown off track when life gets too crazy with things like big emotional upsets, early morning work and moving. Surely this is the case for most people. Ironically, the practice of Yoga that is so dear to my heart is meant to support us through the vicissitudes of life. I can attest that it does work. The times that I'm truly out of sorts have gotten smaller each year. I do occasionally "fall off the wagon", but I get back on pretty quickly these days.

“As spiritual searchers we need to become freer and freer of the attachment to our own smallness in which we get occupied with me-me-me. Pondering on large ideas or standing in front of things which remind us of a vast scale can free us from acquisitiveness and competitiveness and from our likes and dislikes. If we sit with an increasing stillness of the body, and attune our mind to the sky or to the ocean or to the myriad stars at night, or any other indicators of vastness, the mind gradually stills and the heart is filled with quiet joy. Also recalling our own experiences in which we acted generously or with compassion for the simple delight of it without expectation of any gain can give us more confidence in the existence of a deeper goodness from which we may deviate. (39)” 

― Ravi Ravindra, The Wisdom of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras: A New Translation and Guide by Ravi Ravindra

As regular readers of this blog know, I experienced one of those life upsets almost two months ago now. Overall, I'd have to say that I've done fairly well during these two months of transition. There has been a good amount of Yoga, meditation, massage, time outdoors, time with friends and other supportive practices. There have been some dark days, but compared to how it could have been…say ten years ago, it's been a cakewalk.

Today I decided to take up the practice of abhyanga, or self-massage with oil. When I did my Ayurvedic self-experiment this spring, I wasn't too hot on the idea. Too messy and too time consuming, I thought. Why bother? It's humid in North Carolina! This isn't Colorado, where lip balm and skin lotion are two of the 10 Essentials of Survival.

But three things:

1. It feels really good.
2. I do want to incorporate anointing into my practice.
3. I do like to wear a scent, usually patchouli.

Abhyanga could combine all three into one step to save time AND give me some more health benefits. Behold, my plan:

I will make an aromatherapy blend with the base oil of coconut. In Ayurveda, the type of oil is matched to your constitution. I am a pitta-kapha constitution and it's still summertime, so coconut oil is good. In the cold months, I will likely change to almond oil. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

For the essential oils, I will use primarily patchouli for its mood balancing, cellulite/wrinkle reducing, and insect repelling properties. Alleged properties, anyhow. I like the scent and feel good when I wear it - that I know. As for the other oils, I have some cedar and sandalwood on hand, so I'll see how I like that blend. I may add lavender too, because lavender is love! It's been a while since I've practiced my aromatherapy, so this will be a good refresher.

Most likely, I will reduce the amount of oil used in the massage and will not shower afterwards. Coconut oil absorbs pretty well and when I did this today, I didn't need to shower. Also, I will not be applying this oil to my head and hair. I do plan to do oil head massage, but I will do that at night and have a different oil and herbal blend in mind. More to come on that later!

Today's abhyanga was a rushed affair. I got some plain coconut oil from Whole Foods and hurriedly rubbed it into every part of my body that I could reach. I was pressed for time, and didn't get to feel the meditative, super spiritual self love aspects of the practice. But my skin felt great the rest of the day!

Stay tuned for the results of this new experiment in self-care!

30 Days of Deity Devotion: Day 5 - World Goddess Day

Happy World Goddess Day!

From the World Goddess Day website:

"THE WORLD GODDESS DAY PROJECT emerged to unite the Mother Goddess' worshipers world wide through their many expressions and manifestations. The purpose of the Project is grant to the Goddess one day of visibility to share Her many myths, stories and worship diversity, so everyone will remember or will know that the first religion of humanity was the Worship of the Goddess."

I hosted a World Goddess Day event with my interfaith spiritual group at a local park. In the interest of being inclusionary, the event was a relaxed, non-denominational affair. We shared a potluck lunch, strolled through the lovely forest, napped, shared our experiences and meditated to heal the Earth.

It was so lovely. I sincerely wish we had planned an even longer event. I love to use my energy for a good purpose, and there aren't many that trump healing the planet. I also could not think of a more fitting topic for today's 30 Days of Deity Devotion post. What higher form of sacrifice is there than to give your time and energy to the Gods? To gather people together, connect with others around the globe and do magic for the good of all beings. For the good of our home. 

This, all human beings ought to be able to agree upon. We may disagree on everything else, but for this purpose, we must unite. We need to work together to find a way to heal the conflict between human beings, between nations, between religions, between genders, between races.

We need to find a way for the human race to live in harmony with the needs of the greater ecosystem. This is essential for our survival as a species on Earth, though most days I retain enough optimism to think that She will carry on even if we self-destruct. Her way is one of implacable victory and irrepressible adaptation.

At the end of our meditation, I taught the group a song, "The Earth is Our Mother" (see video at right). She is Mother to us all. From Her, all of creation has sprung. To her, we must all return. It does not matter what you call Her, or that you even think of this swirling ball of elements and energy as a Deity or as Goddess…our Earth is our Mother. We must take care of Her. She will take care of us.

I leave you with a lovely prayer, adapted and expanded from "Artemis" by Kat Brown
:

Mother of Life, hear our prayer


Light into dark, dark into life


Queen of the Earth, the sea and sky


Mother of all


Artemis, Artemis

We call to you, Mother

We honor you, Goddess of the Crescent Moon

We walk in beauty 

Each step a prayer

Upon your sacred Earth.

Love, healing and peace be upon you and all beings. May the love of the Goddess be ever in your heart. Blessed be! 

30 Days of Deity Devotion: Day 1

Tonight the crescent moon told me to start my month of deity devotion. I may follow the 30 Days of Deity Devotion (30DODD) format, but I will also change it up. 'Cause I'm like that.

Day 1 of 30DODD is intended to be a general introduction. For this 30DODD, I will be writing about Artemis. She of the crescent moon, Huntress of the Golden Bow, Goddess of lonely peaks and clear running streams, is my patroness. She is a powerful and multi-faceted Goddess of the Greek pantheon. She is the Lady of Wild Beasts. She protects women, children and baby animals. She is also connected to music and dance. To the stars. To mountains, to lakes and rivers. She is the Light Bearer, she is the Savior.

Much has been written about Artemis. Instead of an exhaustive introduction to her as a deity, I will instead share the story of a recent hike and how I connected with her in a new way:

I connected with Artemis in her guise as she-bear, the great mother, today.

"Bear, Bear, you who rule the heaven, the stars, and the whole world; you who make the axis turn and control the whole cosmic system by force and compulsion; I appeal to you." - PGM VII:686-702

I don't now recall how it came to pass, but I do think a lot when I hike. I tend to cycle through all the subjects until my spirit is calm again. At any rate, today, I particularly remember thinking about it when I was on my hill. My Inner Temple is based on this place and today as I hiked up the hill, I felt a strong connection to the she-bear. I remembered that this is one of the faces of Artemis. A light began to shine in my mind.

I began to reconsider my interactions with bear out in the wilderness. I have been both attracted and afraid. That's a signal that a lesson is brewing, but until now I have never understood what this meant.

Part of the lesson of bear, in animal medicine terms, is facing fear as a pathway to power. So previously, I just thought about the lessons of earth power and the cave/bear den. I really hadn't connected the dots with the feminine divine or with Artemis.

Consider my trip to the Black Canyon of Gunnison. I hiked alone down into the canyon, even though the rangers warned me that a bear had been spotted on the trail no more than thirty minutes before I began. Sure enough, I heard a bear, so I began to sing. The route down into the canyon isn't really a trail; it's more of a drainage. It requires a bit of rock climbing technique at times. Once you begin, there aren't a lot of places to stop, nor is it particularly practical to change your mind. 

The bear was with me all the way down the mountain. That kept me awake and aware during a really dicey descent. I doubt I would have been quite so careful had I not been concerned about the bear. I met some folks at the bottom that had been scared by the bear too. We ended up camping together for the night, which was fun. Great folks! At any rate, I was feeling paralyzed by fear and still remember lying awake in my tent, listening for the slightest sound. Which, sure enough, materialized. The bear walked all around our camp, snuffling and breathing audibly.

At other times I feel bear is near and I don't feel afraid. I also have a strong aversion to hunting bear, though it is legal in my area. Surely this is partially due to my hunting ethics - I don't hunt predators in these days of rampant habitat destruction and systemic extermination. But perhaps there is something deeper at work…what if that is the way She shows herself to me? I do feel she's come to me in women, as well. But that's a topic for another post.

The She-Bear. It makes sense. Another piece of the puzzle has fallen into the place. Hail Artemis!

30 Days of Devotion

I ran into the 30 Days of Deity Devotion blog project through some of my colleagues in the Pagan Blog Project. Immediately, I felt that I wanted to be involved. But this last month has been one of many changes, and I've been super busy at work to boot. So now I'm back from a transformative experience, on both professional and personal levels. I'm done with my travels for a while, and I feel a need to get my head back in the game.

So stay tuned, 'cause I'm gonna get started very soon. Maybe I'll pick an auspicious date for my lady Artemis. But maybe I'll just jump in. We'll see.

Anyhoo. Be assured, I am alive and I am rocking out this life transition! Hope you are all well and thriving. More to come...

Harvesting Sorrow and Hope

Lughnasadh and Lammas are festivals of the first harvest, the grain harvest. Metaphorically, it's also a first harvesting of the seeds planted at Ostara, of the magical work we have done all year.

Looking back through my year, the theme has been letting go of things that no longer serve me. I decluttered, organized and donated a lot of possessions. I let go of family relationships that were not positive. I let go of consulting work and a nonprofit that wanted too much free work. I let go of a friendship that went sour. I took a hiatus from my beloved coven. I let go of a longtime romantic relationship.

I have nurtured projects and relationships that do serve me. I have done a lot of work with my ancestors, spirit guides and allies. I have grown my Meetup group to 44 members. I began to write public blogs. I have gotten clearer about my brand. I have been caring for myself diligently. I have worked toward my legal name change. I have been ordained and recommitted to my priestessry. I have taught more than ever before, and had a fantastic time doing it. I have been attending Church of the Earth events and have discovered that I really like their community. I have reconnected with friends and chosen family.

Some of my harvest is sorrow. I loved the place I lived with my partner. We were surrounded by farm fields, near my favorite patch of woods, had lovely kitties, garden, fruit trees, etc. The relationship was longstanding, and that always brings a sense of security and continuity to one's life. It has been a painful transition away from that.

But some of my harvest is full of hope. I am alone again, and free. The relationship was not a positive one, from an objective perspective. Now I can once again do anything I like. I can see my friends to my heart's content. I can spend the day in study. I can priestess to my community as I wish. I can travel. I can dream.

I still don't know what's around the corner. I'm still looking for work and for a real home. But I have faith that I have cultivated the garden of my life well this year. The harvest will be rich in its own time.

So mote it be!

I leave you with a blessing:

May the blessings of the first harvest fill you and yours with joy and abundance. May your larder be full of grains that you never hunger and may your cellar be full of mead and wine that you never thirst. May this harvest season bring forth all that you desire from the abundance of our mother Goddess.

Have a blessed Lammas and Lughnasadh!

Post Ordination Fallout

Before my ordination, my colleagues told me that it's a life-changing process, and one that often involves huge life changes, meltdowns, crises, breakups, etc. After the ordination, I felt great on an emotional and spiritual level. I felt clearer, more committed, freer, different and yet more myself than ever. I thought that was all that would happen for me.

Alas no. It's happening to me right now. Currently, I'm unexpectedly single and homeless without enough income to support myself independently. I'm calling on the Gods for help. I'm leaning on the support of my community. I'm submitting resumes left and right. I'm putting out the call - I need a part-time job and a place to live (housesitting, roommate, etc).

It's terrifying. Never before have I been in so precarious a situation. I've worked so hard to build my new career in the last four years. I've worked equally hard to get more education to support that career. I've also worked just as hard at healing myself and putting my tumultuous, tragic past to rest. I simply can't throw away all that work and quit all my self-employment activities. That's a sacrifice I'm not currently willing to make. 

Of course, when it comes right down to it, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get my life back on track. I must believe, though, that this can manifest in a way that allows me to keep practicing massage, teaching and priestessing. To keep building my professional network and reputation. To keep manifesting the life of my dreams:

I dream of having a home with a lot of land. I dream of creating an intentional community, educational and healing center. I dream of that community producing as much of what we need to sustain our lives as we can. I dream of living a sustainable life in stewardship of our land. I dream of us supporting and sheltering artists, musicians and writers. I dream of sharing my gifts with people who visit our center - teaching, doing healing work, taking people on trips, hosting retreats, holding ceremonies, honoring the spirits of place, creating a sacred sanctuary and mystery school. I dream of traveling around the country and around the world teaching and inspiring others to reach THEIR own potential and manifest THEIR own dreams. 

I dream of having a supportive, positive, respectful and fun community around me. I dream of having healthy relationships (platonic, familial and romantic) with mutual sharing, supporting, loving and growing. I dream of one day waking up to know that I am well and truly SAFE and HOME. To feel that I belong somewhere, to feel that I am doing my true work, to feel that what I do matters.

Truly, I have some of these things already. I have met many wonderful people who make my life a richer, more beautiful experience. All of my current work is my true work. 

But not everything is wine and roses for me, just like everyone else. Some awful things from my past are still a problem. My awesome career still isn't profitable yet. This last romantic relationship will take some time to process and recover from. I have no home.

In 2010, I sacrificed my material security on the altar of personal need and desire. I simply could not see the way out of a life that no longer fit me. I had spent several years trying to decide what I wanted, how to change, what to do…to no avail. I quit my corporate job, packed my truck full of backpacking gear and put the rest of my possessions in storage. I drove across the country, leaving my beloved Colorado behind. I returned to North Carolina, greeted friends and family, then embarked on a literal walkabout on the Appalachian Trail.

Two months later, my knees gave out. I returned to Raleigh to do some physical therapy. I did that, but I never did get back on the trail. I ended up staying here to go to school and re-launch my career as an entrepreneur. Along the way, massive amounts of unplanned but vitally necessary self-healing occurred. It's been messy, difficult, awesome and a wild adventure.

Right now, there's only a few things that I know for certain:

1. I have worked too hard to make this life change to give up on my dreams.
2. I will only expend my energy on people who treat me with courtesy and respect.
3. The Universe is supporting me in this change.
4. Every day, I take steps to get my life in order.

Blessings, positive energy, gifts of light, monetary donations and any other type of support appreciated. Posts will be minimal while I get through this transition. Your support and understanding mean the world to me!

Ethical Symbolism

A lot of Pagans begin their journey as solitaries, with books. I was sort of in that category myself. Actually, I had a ritual partner who was at the same point in the journey, and we did support each other quite a bit. But having said that, I mostly studied books on my own at first.

In most Pagan 101 books, a brief section is devoted to symbolism. Allow me to generalize and give you a summary:

"Hey guys, symbols are great and powerful - you should use them! Here are a few lists of magical alphabets and other mysterious symbols from around the world. Naw, don't worry, you're a baby witch, WHAT COULD GO WRONG?! You can use symbols in spells, write your Book of Shadows in a secret alphabet, make sigils and create talismans. Oh, and mark all your most personal ritual tools with these things, too! Yay symbols!"

At the time, I didn't think too much about it. But on the other hand, I didn't use any symbol that I didn't really understand or with which I had no cultural connection. I also didn't think too much about my avoidance of these things…in retrospect, it really was intuition. Thanks be to the Goddess for which, by the by!

Here's the thing: there is a big divide in opinions about symbolism. Some people are of the opinion that symbols only have what power we give them. Others believe that the symbol itself becomes imbued with energy accumulated by past usage of that symbol by many people.

I personally fall into the second camp. I think that symbols speak to us on the deepest levels of our being, and that powerful symbols become so to the degree that they do so. That's a mouthful. Let's show that in another way:

Symbol--->Evokes powerful emotion/transformation--->Symbol gets used by many people=Powerful Symbol

So what is this mysterious energy that imbues symbols? I believe that it's the residue of the ritual energy of the many human beings who have used the symbol, and that it is stored in the Akashic Records, aka the collective unconscious. So you could say that symbols are sub-language keys to universal wisdom.

Pretty heavy, right? I also think symbols deserve a bit more than a tiny section in an overview book.
Now, I understand the challenges that authors face. There is a lot to know when embarking on a study of magic, and space is limited. I'm certainly not targeting any particular author or book (above image of symbols is just an example). I get it. But it's also fairly irresponsible to write a book aimed at complete newbies wherein you tell them to use symbols without explaining why.

This same principle applies to Pagan clergy, ritual leaders, teachers and mentors. I've run across plenty of people who teach a particular technique, belief or usage of symbolism who say "do it this way". When asked why, their answer is sometimes "because I said so". They may embroider that answer with all sorts of comely clothing, much of which preys upon the insecurities of those new and uncertain of their path.

I propose that we use some ethics and common sense when choosing symbols to incorporate into our magical work. Take the time to find out where the symbol came from. If you don't know about that culture, time period, tradition, learn about it. Learn about what the symbol represents, and if possible, how it was used. Try to find out when it was used, and when it was not. It may also help to know who used the symbol (clergy, laypeople, men, women, etc). You may not find answers to all of these questions, but they are a good checklist to keep in mind.

Clergy, teachers and mentors, use the Campsite Rule as it applies to baby Pagans (with thanks to Dan Savage; if you don't know his work, go read Savage Love immediately):

"In a relationship/interaction with a large age, power and/or experience gap, the older partner/more experienced partner has the responsibility to leave the younger/less experienced partner in at least as good a state (mentally, emotionally and physically) as before the relationship/interaction. The campsite rule includes things like leaving the younger/less experienced partner with no brainwashing, no unwanted guru worship, and not overburdening them with your own opinions/baggage." *

If you are learning from someone else, cultivate a "Spiritual BS meter". Any of the following scenarios may mean a red flag:

• Answers are phrased in a way that demeans you.
• The answer is "because I said so" on a consistent basis.
• Consistently tells you that what you think you know is wrong.
• Symbols are secret knowledge that you have to bow & scrape/pass unseemly hazing rituals/pay outrageous amounts of money to obtain.
• Only your teacher/guru/HP/book knows the REAL meaning. Everything else in the outside world is wrong or deceptive.
• Your teacher/guru/HP can use the symbols however they want, but you can't. (note: this is not an excuse to avoid proper research, learning and preparation of your own)
• Never says "I don't know".

Seekers, use critical thinking skills to do your own research. Taking this extra time will help you understand the context in which the symbol was originally used. It shows respect to the culture or tradition from which the symbol came. It makes your ritual work safer, and if I'm wrong about stored power, you still become more informed.

Everybody - try it for yourself. Meditate with symbols and see what impressions and feelings come up. Use symbols in rituals, spells, sigil and talisman construction. Become really familiar with them, and record your results. Remember, Contemporary Paganism is a living system, and you get what you give. Do the work - it's worth it!






*Slightly modified to fit this context, changes mine

Ritual Attire

The power of symbols, ritual tools, jewelry, masks and clothing is well known among all types of practitioners of magic. When we alter our appearance, it helps us to alter our consciousness in preparation for ritual or magical work. As we grow in experience, we learn that these things are not necessary. We are able to make magic in out in public, with no tools, and in our everyday clothing.

Ritual clothing, in particular, serves another function as well. In addition to helping to alter our own state of consciousness, it also affects the people around us. When we assume a leadership role, whether it be in teaching, leading ritual or providing spiritual services, it helps when we pay attention to our image. Like it or lump it, human beings care about and respond to how we look.

Pagans are pretty accepting – we don’t expect you to look like some Californian mass-media ideal of beauty. But presenting yourself well is still valuable. Take the time to bathe, apply scented oils, arrange your hair, put on spiritual jewelry and wear attractive clothing. Of course adjust this list to what fits you; the goal is to show through your appearance that you care for yourself. Practicing good posture helps too. People will have more confidence in you and give more weight to your words.

Contemporary Paganism being an ever-evolving community, we have a lot of options. We can use scholarship to look to the past and recreate what might have been. Others choose to wear some form of Christian-esque vestments (def: a robe of ceremony or office), which seems pretty smart, considering that most Americans are raised with some form of Christianity and thus automatically associate those types of garments with spiritual authority. Some go with the ubiquitous hooded robe common among witches and Druids. Yet others choose historical garments from the culture of their pantheon (for example, Heathens who wear Norse-style t-tunics).

In my opinion, what’s important is finding your own authentic image. Find something that speaks to your soul and makes you feel powerful, beautiful and sacred. Note my usage of the word authentic. It’s important to be aware of the trap that image-consciousness can create: it can be a way to get stuck with excessive ego or caught up in fantastical delusions. Keep it real, gang.

So as an Ordained Priestess, a shaman, a Yoga and martial arts teacher, what do I wear? Good question. That’s really a project in process. I’ve been through a lot of image evolutions in my mundane and spiritual life. You can really see the progress of my personal and spiritual development in those changes. Thank Goddess my close friends are supportive, that’s all I can say.

Early in my pagan career, I started with an undyed cotton robe based on a choir robe pattern. I still have it in storage, and I don’t feel beautiful when I wear it. I do feel humble and earthy, which feelings have their time and place. If I had had it with me, I would likely have worn it to my recent initiation, for example. A couple of winters ago, I made myself a righteous animal print fake fur ritual robe. I seriously love this robe. It is SO warm and I feel really good wearing it, both for witchy and shamanic pursuits. Protip: include fur-lined pockets.Trust me on this. Decadent!

In my last post, I tell the story of how I chose my new vestments. I ended up settling on garments that are traditional in India: salwar kameez and dupatta. Salwar are loose pajama pants, while the kameez is a long tunic (aka the kurta, which really refers to the men’s long tunic). The dupatta is a scarf, similar to what many Americans would know as a pashmina. See left for an example. I’m planning to make my own, because I enjoy sewing. I will likely make mine from cotton in bright colors.

What I like about this Indian-style garb is that it’s feminine, functional and street-friendly. I love a ritual robe, but I’m a very embodied person. I might feel the need to do some Yoga at a moment’s notice, get my groove on with some ecstatic dancing or bust out a headstand - all of which is awfully hard to do in a robe. At the same time, these clothes make me feel beautiful and connected to the Divine. It honors my spiritual foundations in Yoga. It also allows me to be out in public without getting too many stares.

I can also wear salwar kameez to Yoga class. I could even choose to wear the tunic with regular yoga pants. I have been struggling for some time to find my look for teaching Yoga. My Yoga teacher training taught us to wear something neutral, simple and professional so that our students focus on the teaching, not on us.

This bores me to tears and makes me sad. While from a business perspective, I’d like to reach as many people as I can…I’m just not willing to be bland. I don’t think that people really want boring Yoga teachers. Why come out of the house for someone who blends into the carefully neutral, calming studio walls? I personally want someone colorful, lively and inspiring – someone who has something interesting and different to offer. No offense, but I have had my fill of tall, slim, anemic, vegetarian and deadly earnest Yoga teachers. YAWN.

On the shamanic/woodsy side of things, I have a colorful history with what I have worn. There were a lot of broomstick skirts and gypsy sort of things for a while. I also purloined my mother’s hippie clothes from the 70’s. Thank Goddess no pictures remain of the handmade deerskin vest, loincloth and knee-high sandals of my teenage years. Egads. My tastes these days are more in the medieval woodswoman/mountain woman range. Yes, I too made myself a hat from an animal skin, with the bobcat’s face on the front of my head. Sorry, vegans -it's a shaman thing!

Since I’m a huntress and devotee of Artemis and the Horned One, my plan currently is to tan the next deerskins I take and make a pair of breeches and a jerkin (basically a long vest). Maybe a hood, we’ll see. With that I’ll wear the set of knee high moccasins (with fur, beads and a hidden knife sheath) that I’m working to finish up by this fall. That means I’ll have to finish up the fancy leather gun belt I’ve been planning for years…with a pistol on one side and my antique Bowie knife on the other.  

Ah, did I not mention my warrior side? Yeah, that’s a part of me as well. Training students in martial arts again is another thing on my list, and it too requires a uniform. A simple black gi (think karate uniform) and the black belt passed on to me by my sensei will do for that. On warm days, I created a t-shirt design for me and the class to wear with gi pants. No trouble there.

So, to sum up: examine who you are and what you do. Choose ritual, spiritual and liturgical clothing accordingly. Look well groomed and put together. Embrace your own power. Be awesome. Don’t let anyone dim your light and ROCK ON. You know I will!

Ordination Report

I've been struggling with what to say about last week's initiation and ordination. Like many practitioners, I don't like to speak too much of magical work. But I also feel compelled to talk about this pivotal experience. So here we go!

My fast didn't go well at all. Kitchari did not give me enough energy to get through the day, and the whole thing fell apart. It seems that a week-long fast is not in the cards for me these days, unless that fast includes animal protein at lunchtime. I can get away with eggs and vegetables for breakfast, but a full day of massage means a full lunch or I melt down. I also ended up eating red meat for dinner - probably because I hadn't gotten enough calories and protein earlier in the day. After some soul searching, I decided to simply accept the demands of my body. Instead of restricting what I ate so rigidly, I focused on eating mindfully. I blessed each meal and took time to honor the Divine and feel gratitude.

I didn't have time to make a new ritual robe. I probably could have done it if I had a sewing machine at home, but going to a friend's house to work just didn't fit into the ol' calendar. Instead, I ended up with the perfect set of vestments for me, in typically synchronistic fashion.

A while ago, a friend of mine from India gave me a white kurta, which is a knee length cotton tunic with lovely white embroidery around the neckline. I've never worn it. It hung in my closet awaiting some special occasion. Meanwhile, back in yoga teacher training, we talked about clothing to wear while teaching. In the Yoga tradition, all white was the traditional color to wear.  My teachers and colleagues said they thought I ought to do it; that it would look good on me, etc.

That was nearly a year ago, and I've been searching for white yoga clothes ever since. It's a little tricky for me, being busty and swarthy as I am. Hello, mediterranean heritage! So far, I have found a white sports bra and a white camisole. I never really thought of wearing the kurta with it. In my head, I was looking for "some kind of white overshirt", but I never connected the dots to what was already in my closet.

As I prepared for this initiation, I thought of wearing a white robe. At some point, it occurred to me: why not wear a white yoga-style outfit? I could wear my kurta! So I did. I found some random knit capri pants, which I didn't really like, but got me through the night. I put on my white sports bra, the camisole and the kurta.

It felt right. Yoga is a big part of my spirituality, though I don't often think of it that way. But for me, it truly is the foundation of my practice. It's been a presence throughout my entire life, and it's how I was introduced to mindfulness, meditation, self-awareness and so many other things. In a way, it's like air. You never think about it, but you are breathing it all the time. This was a lovely way to honor that part of my life, and I feel very comfortable in those clothes to boot.

The day of my initiation was somewhat of a disaster. I took the entire day off, put my email on auto-respond and my phone on vibrate. It was supposed to be this restful, meditative day. Instead, every single thing was a trial. I had to run errands in the morning. I forgot a doctor's appointment and had to go over there in a hurry. I didn't get home until noon, and then I remembered I was supposed to be at a massage appointment at 4! And the cupcakes still needed to be baked! And what about my ritual bath?! Aaaaagghhhhh!!!

The ritual bath turned into a shower with chanting. The cupcakes got packed up and put in the truck unfrosted. I scrambled up to my massage and that too was a trial, but I soldiered on. Luckily, my best friend let me come over and use his kitchen to frost the cupcakes. This was a blessing in disguise as I then got hugs and congratulations from this very important person in my life.

Finally I got there and my High Priestess gave me this look. She knew exactly what was going on. I smiled and told her that I got a lesson in priestesshood: we have to do it in the midst of everyday chaos. She just nodded, full of understanding.

The ritual was lovely. My HP surprised me by including references to my shamanic journey in addition to my journey as a witch. I was truly overwhelmed by the love and support in the room. I feel so blessed to have found these women. They show me what love and support is supposed to feel like and I am so grateful.

My ordination with the Universal Life Church was much more prosaic: just a matter of a few mouse clicks. Now, the ULC doesn't necessarily have the best reputation. They will take anyone, and they do not require any type of training. Literally anyone over 13 can become a minister in their church.

But for someone like me, it's perfect. I have been studying for this all my life. I don't need further training to call myself a priestess. The ULC is interfaith - and my public work right at this moment is interfaith. The UFC also expressly does not require one to "kiss the ring", as it were. I don't do authoritarian structures well. A benevolent, accepting umbrella organization? Yes, thank you!

It also turns out that the ULC was started right here in NC, by a Christian minister who believed in religious freedom including freedom FROM religion. I love these words from their mission:

"We further proclaim that "We are all Children of the same Universe" and as such we each have a right to be here. Thus said, that is the way that your God and Mother Nature planned it."

Now that's something I can get behind.

So now it's a week later. The dust is beginning to settle. I've made my announcement about the event to friends and clients. Folks have teasingly called me "Reverend Tanaria". This amuses me. I will call myself an Ordained Priestess. I don't have a ministry, I have a priestessry. Sure it's weird, but so what? So am I!

In service to the Gods, I continue to serve all seekers who come to me with honest yearning for truth in their hearts, no matter what their path. Truly, this has always been my path. Now it's official.

Blessed be!