On Intolerance and Peaceful Co-existence

The past few days have been agonizing for me, as they have been for everyone following the news. I tried to stay out of it, to stay off of social media, to stay silent. I failed. I cannot stay silent in a world gone mad. 

People I thought I knew have been spewing hatred and intolerance. Many are calling for more war, more bombings, closing our borders, refusing to help refugees. I simply cannot stand by and do nothing. I'm reminded of a quote from a favorite film. Sure, it's a pop culture piece of entertainment, and sure, it in itself promotes violence. But this quote states it eloquently:

"And I am reminded on this holy day of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, long time ago almost 30 years ago. This poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But, there is another kind of evil which we must fear most … and that is the indifference of good men!"

I was horrified when I learned the story of Kitty Genovese in college. I am horrified today by recent events, and by people's reactions to them. So this morning, when I ought to have been getting ready for work, this is what I wrote:

I don’t normally post about current events or politics. Recent events have made this reserve impossible. In the last few days, I have seen and read about horrific crimes against humanity in Tunisia, Beirut, and Paris. Here on FB, the response has been both compassionate and hate-filled. As an empath, this is intensely painful for me. No, it’s not about me. It’s a global problem, this use of violence to further ostensibly religious agendas. It’s not just overseas – it’s here in the USA as well. Let us not forget McVeigh and all the others like him – AMERICANS who have perpetuated terrorism.

But I will tell you this. As a medical professional, I see people of all nationalities, all faiths, all genders, and all sexual orientations EVERY DAY. Each and every day, I treat people with compassion regardless of these labels. I see it as my sacred duty to see people as human beings in need first, before any of these things. 

And guess what? We are all the same when we’re in pain. Everyone’s lower back aches the same. Everyone scrunches their shoulders up to their ears when they are stressed. Everyone looks the same when they finally let go and relax.

People often talk during massage therapy sessions. Some do it because they can’t bear silence. Others, to distract themselves from the sensations in their body. Others talk to me because no one else listens to them. And let me tell you something else. Yesterday, I treated a patient who spewed hatred for the entire hour. This person hates Muslims, gays, anybody who disagrees with their church, Democrats, women in general, terrorists, and liberals. The things this client said broke my heart and caused me to sit down and question everything I am, everything I know and everything I believe in.

A friend of mine asked me how I handled the situation and said I must have the patience of a saint. I simply let the client speak. I healed this person to the best of my ability. This patient needs healing most of all. This person says these things because of deep pain within. I don’t claim to be a saint. I tell you this story not out of self-aggrandizement, but in hopes that folks will realize the same thing that I did:

Hate only fuels more hate. Violence only fuels more violence. Divisions among humanity serve only the people who seek power. Like it or not, we are all in this together. 

It’s the 21st century, and it’s high time that we all start working together. Call me an idealist if you will. Un-friend me if this angers you, truly. 

I refuse to believe that Islam or Christianity are faiths that are fundamentally incompatible with peaceful co-existence. I refuse to believe that failures in the past mean that trying again to build tolerance and peace will fail. 

We must overcome. After all, what is the alternative? A World War in which we wipe every Muslim from the face of the Earth? A global ban on religion? More years of mass killings, until no one is left? 

No. These apocalyptic visions will not happen. We will find a way through. Humanity has a tendency to shine and find solutions at the very last moment.

I will not give up. I will not give in to fear and hatred. I will continue to resist peacefully. I will continue to speak up, speak out and to take whatever actions I can to create cultural change.

Currently, I have an idea to create a global peace accord in which we all agree to the following:

1.  Everyone has the right to live as they wish so long as it doesn't harm others.
2. The right of sovereignty of all nations must be respected - no more conquering others by force.
3. Diligently work to solve problems without violence.

My idea is to write this up with a cover letter and start sending it to local churches. Since religion is used as an excuse for many of the violent acts recently committed by terrorists, mass murderers, school shooters and what have you, we should start with faith leaders. We must start in churches, and in homes, to teach our young people to respect and tolerate diversity. This is the foundation of peace. Peace doesn't just happen. Peace is more accurately termed peaceful co-existence. Peaceful co-existence can only happen when we reject the use of force and embrace our beautiful diversity as a species.

Will you take the pledge? Do you know of someone already doing this? Drop me a line or a comment!

Honor

Honor is an often misunderstood and sometimes misused concept with a mixed reputation. Historically, those who claimed to live honorably have used their power for both good and evil. The Arthurian legends tell of medieval knights whose entire lives were dedicated to honor. They used their martial prowress and personal virtues to protect others and uphold justice. Renaissance era knights inspired by Arthurian codes of conduct also perpetuated horrific crimes during the Crusades. Samurai are another tradition of fiercely honorable warriors devoted to their ideals. When their aristocratic masters were just, this was a beautiful and effective thing. If not, not so much. On the more brutal end of the spectrum, there are also so-called "honor killings" of innocent female children in places like Yemen.

This points out an essential conflict with perceptions of honor. There are actually two concepts involved: honor and face.

Face is what many people mistake for honor. Face is about social standing and how one is ranked in the pecking order of the community. It is about what other people think of one's actions and reactions. The Yemeni father who killed his 15 year old daughter was far more concerned with face than he was with honor. He was worried about his daughter's reputation, and how that reflected on him. In this tribe's twisted way of thinking, he would "lose honor" if his daughter was even accused of being involved in anything improper before marriage. As if her alleged action could grant or revoke any of his honor.

Honor is about who you are and how you live your life. Honor cannot be taken from or granted to you. You must earn it. Every day, with every choice you make. What others think of your choices is not all that important, in the grand scheme of things. But what you yourself think of your choices is very important. Being authentic is powerful - each choice must resonate with rightness to your soul, to your innermost being.

To determine honorable action in any given situation, you must:

1. Weigh the situation for justice.
2. Determine your obligation.
3. Formulate appropriate action.

To put it another way, honor is also about living up to a code of ethics, or living in alignment with personal values.

I think that especially as Pagans, whether we walk the warrior way or not, it's important to have a good sense for what your underlying values are and to live with honor. We are, after all, working magic, which is a big responsibility. Some of us, like myself, follow the Rede: 'and it harm none, do as you will'. That's pretty wide open. Not harming another doesn't always cover every situation. And what about those who don't live by the Rede? What code or ideal do you believe in?

My point goes back to the theme of cultural creation that I have been discussing lately on this blog. We're a relatively new (old) faith. We have the opportunity and duty to make it something wondrous and life-ehancing. But really, we can do anything. There is no central authority or ancient text. We are responsible for our actions. We and we alone.

Taking inventory of our beliefs and values is the first step. What do you believe? Where did that belief come from, and does it still serve you? Is it in the highest good of all? 

Step two is to examine those beliefs and then make any needed adjustments. Perhaps your old beliefs were part of a lower level of understanding, or were reactions to trauma that you experienced. Perhaps they are remnants of the faith in which you were raised, or simply common to your community. Inherited beliefs can be a beautiful thing, anchoring us with deep roots. But even these must be examined in the light of day with open eyes.

When tweaking values or beliefs, it's always a good idea to see if your beliefs support positive interaction in your family and community. Maybe you value acceptance - that's a belief that protects and nourishes you as well as others. Equality, tolerance, respect for all living things...all of these types of values are life-ehancing and supportive.

It's also a good idea to revisit values regularly. We all have obligations in life, appropriate to our age and abilities. No ageism intended here, merely pointing out that our role in life changes with age. As our roles change, the values that support our ability to meet our obligations will therefore need to continue to evolve and grow as well. 

After you've inventoried, examined and perhaps adjusted, it's time to act. Keep your code of honor handy, and refer to it when situations come up. Remember the guidelines of honor: justice, obligation and appropriate action. Breathe and just act! 

Protip: Honor is action, not dillydally, delay and inaction. Refusing to make a choice is, in itself, a choice.

Honor has been my path for many years. I have walked the warrior way for most of my life. I can remember being in kindergarten and already, protecting others was just part of the day's work for me. Official bee stomper, bully confronter and authority defier....that's me, always looking out for an underdog, or for a friend. I don't recall it ever seeming strange; it was just something I did. 

Later when I began to train in martial arts, I learned the values of courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control and indomitable spirit. In studying Yoga, I learned the Yamas and Niyamas, with such values as contentment (santosha) and non-violence (ahimsa). Throughout my life I studied philosophy, history and world religion, with all of its codes of conduct, philosophies, rules, manifestos, guidelines and laws. 

Years and years of service to the community through mentorship, teaching, training, studying and volunteer work have taught me something very simple about honor. I'm not capable of living any other way. When I look in the mirror, I have to be able to meet my own eye. To like the person I see there. To know that I've done the best I could. To know that I have walked with honor.