We Are Stronger Together

As a spiritual group, the Clan has no position on current events except this:

In order for the governmental process to work, we must remember that we are all related. Life is precious. Be respectful of others, *especially* when you disagree with them. Work toward the future in which you wish to live.

For empaths and other citizens who are upset by the election results or the unrest in our nation, remember that you are not alone. It's ok to feel all the feelings right now. Be present, feel what you feel, and send it to the Earth for recycling. Stick together with those you love.

Join me tonight and every night this week at 9p EST for a distance meditation. My intent is to hold space for our nation in turmoil, to be together, and to offer this mantra to the world:

"Om lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu."

May all beings be blessed, may my life serve all.

In the highest good of all beings, we offer energy and intent for healing, for necessary change, and simple presence in the now, difficult and bewildering though it may be. See you tonight!

Ethics in Community

The Pagan Experience - This month the focus is on ETHICS… As a member of the human species we are faced with choices everyday. The responses we make are most often guided by our definition of values, standards and what we consider to be just and ethical behavior.

Add the complexity of walking a spiritual path and he topic of Ethics becomes one that reaches deeply into the fabric of who we wish to be and who we believe ourselves to be.

So, use this month’s writing to share, listen and explore your ethical landscape…

As we walk our path, making choices according to our personal code of ethics, we of course interact with others. We interact with family, friends, co-workers, business community and spiritual community. Today I'd like to share a few of my thoughts on ethical considerations around participating in Pagan community.

1. Respect copyright laws. Contemporary Paganism is an evolving community of many traditions. Most of the time, the work that we now create is influenced by and/or based on the earlier work of others. It's important to ask permission of writers and artists before we use their work in works of our own. If you can't get permission, be sure to credit the author/creator. If you have obtained permission, be sure to use the material in the approved way, and credit the author properly.
2. Collaboration instead of competition. Since we are such a small community, with many divisions within it, it's important for us to band together when possible, especially on community projects. Say you're interested in running a festival or a big event. Before you run out and create a new one, why not see if you can get involved in an existing one? Community festivals, expos and parties almost always can use more help and expertise, whereas creating something similar to an existing event will cause conflict and hard feelings, as well as divide the resources of an already small community.
3. Be an encourager and helper. Want to see more awesome books, workshops, events, and works of art tailored to our community? Encourage your friends and acquaintances. Help them in any way you can. We have plenty of critics, but we always need more networkers and cheerleaders. Maybe you can't help directly, but maybe you know someone who could. Make the introduction. We never know what connections will be important. 
4. Buy local. This goes along with #3. If we want awesome products, events, classes and such, we MUST support our local artists, writers, teachers, and so on. As one of those people, I can't stress this enough. Not only do these people desperately need our business to survive and pay their bills, it's also demoralizing when friends and acquaintances say how much they love our creations/services, but then do not buy them. 
5. Consider your words carefully. Many people have written about the destructive power of gossip. I think we all can agree that it's a bad idea. But I'd like to take it one step further, or perhaps just change the conversation about our words in community. Consider what you say in light of how it will affect others. Are you willing to stand by what you said in front of your coven, your friends, the community at large? If not, refrain. Silence is sometimes the best policy.
6. Make new friends. Have a great coven and great friends? Awesome. But do you know the other players in the community? Have you ever spoken to someone from a different path than yours? What about another coven in a similar tradition? What about that quiet new person sitting alone in the corner? Say hi, include them. Don't re-create middle school and it's ridiculous cliques. Get out there and get to know your community at large, more than just your own circle. Remember the saying "the greater the circle, the more the love grows". It's hard to fear or dislike people you know personally. Go meet them!
7. Participate. I've written about this before, but I'll write about it again, and again, and again, until it's no longer relevant. Go out there and participate in that class, that sweat lodge, that festival, that book discussion group, that community party. Armchair quarterbacks don't win the game - you have to be in it to win it.
8. Be an ambassador for the community. When you are out and about in the general public, try as much as possible to embody the values of our faith, and our community. Yes, I know that Contemporary Paganism is a huge community without a common set of beliefs. Yes, I know that you may or may not be out in public. Do what you can, when you can. Let people know that we're human beings like everyone else. We work, we have families, we pay our bills, we vote, and oh yeah, we're Pagan. 
9. What happens in Circle, stays in Circle. Whether it's a deep emotional sharing that occurred during or after ritual, or the Pagan identity of an acquaintance, it's vital that we support and protect each other by preserving confidentiality.

These are suggested actions, of course, but they are based on ethical principles as applied to a community setting. Those values could be stated thusly:

• Respect for others
• Healthy Community
• Inclusion
• Ambassadorship

Can we all agree to those? I know I'm quite passionate about community building, and I know that is sometimes annoying to those who know me. But I really and truly think it's important that we unite, that we continue to work on our beloved community, and that we leave it better than we found it.  Join me, and when in doubt, just be excellent to each other.

Read more here and here.

Hearth and Home

Cob home with stone and natural timbers

The Pagan Experience Week 3- October 19: Deity and the Divine – This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you. Tell us about your favorite Deity of Hearth and Home.

"Home is a place where your heart is free." - Enya

Let me tell you about my dream home. I long to live in a place of community, on a gigantic piece of land, ideally in the mountains, near a river. Together, we will create a self-sustaining haven of permaculture farming, art, music, craft, spirituality, retreat, education and celebration. I will do everything that I like to do and never have to leave the homestead except to see new places. All the homesteading skills that I learned growing up and have continued to build through the years will find their true purpose. This has been my dream for as long as I can remember.

Here are some features my home will have:

We'll have plenty of guest cabins

Design

• Log, Timber framed, Stone, Cob construction - depending on climate and site
• One story preferred 
• Partially built into hillside if site permits 
• Central heat and air
• Solar/hydroelectric/wind power/water heating as appropriate to site 
• House sited to take advantage of prevailing wind, natural light, etc

Interior Features

• Wood paneling
• Stone, tile, wood floors
• BIG stone fireplace – one chimney to feed two fireplaces – one in living room, one in kitchen; both have hearths big enough to sit on. Kitchen has operational spit for roasting and bread/pizza oven
• Smart closets, storage in every room
• Mud room/airlock to utility room with:
• Boot dryers
• Storage bench
• Rack of hooks for coats and such
• Built-in shelves
• Built-in benches and window seats
• Thick interior walls for soundproofing of bedrooms



Definitely a rocket stove and built in seating

• Guest bedroom or additional bedrooms at other end of house from master   

Kitchen Features

• Back side of fireplace in kitchen with:
• Big serpentine hearth
• Spit roasting apparatus
• Wood fired oven
• Swing-out hanger for pots, dutch oven, tea, etc
• Old fashioned stove – gas + wood range
• Air-cooled pantry
• Convenient access to root cellar
• Nifty compost container
• Ceiling hooks for cast iron cookware
• Concrete countertops? I want really tough, easy to clean natural or semi-natural materials

Bathroom Features

•      Plenty of storage for toiletries, TP, towels
•      Separate soaking tub

  

  No home is complete without flowers & kitties

•      Big walk-in shower (big enough for two, with bench)
•      Additional heater for wintertime (I hate being cold and wet)
•      Make enough bathrooms, seriously. None of this one bathroom nonsense.

Exterior Features

•      Deck/patio
•      Screened in porch
•      Portico
•      Solar lighting along pathways
•      Lots of garden space
•      COVERED PARKING

Facilities of the Community

• Meditation Room 
• Indoor Temple 
• Outdoor Temple (covered, no walls) 

  

  Plenty of gardens & herbs

• Sacred Grove 
• Large program room 
• AV-enabled program room 
• Commercial kitchen 
• Cabins 
• Art Gallery 
• Performance space/stage

Programs

• Educational Center 
• Healing Center 
• Retreat Center
• Organic Farm 
• Sustainable Community 
• Artists & Writers Residencies 
• Sacred Grove 
• Spiral Scouts
• Mystery School

Lots of big trees and barns

Surely we'll have at least one treehouse

And plenty of outdoor living spaces!

My Home, My Harvest, My Community

Spiral dance led by Spirit of the Evergreens Coven

The Pagan Experience - Wk 3- September 21: Deity and the Divine – This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you. Tell us about your favorite Deity of Hearth and Home.

I don't have a particular deity of hearth or home, but big Mother Goddess and big Father God watches over all. The bounty created by their love is shared by all, and this year, the harvest was rich indeed.

Last weekend, I revelled in my home community, my beloved Pagan confederation of luminous, wild and wacky souls at the Central North Carolina Pagan Pride Day festival (PPD). This event is always fun, educational and relaxing, as it is a chance to be who we truly are out in public...something we Pagans living in the southeast USA rarely get a chance to do.

Spiral dance led by Spirit of the Evergreens Coven

But this year, for me, the festival represented more than fun. More than learning a new skill. More than seeing old friends and colleagues. More than sharing knowledge with the community. This year, my harvest was so bountiful that I can scarcely speak of it for the fullness of my heart.

This year, I hosted a booth for my coven, the Clan of the Wildlings. I've never hosted a booth at the festival before, though I make ritual tools and other artistic creations that Pagans like. Though the Clan is doing well on this, our almost one-year anniversary, I felt ready to take the plunge. My intention was to get the word out to more people, and to draw more wildlings to us. And so it was. We got an incredibly positive response. 

Me at our booth

Sunday morning, I facilitated the second meeting of the NC Pagan Elders' Council. We had a great discussion, in which the group asked for face to face meetings during the year outside of PPD. Kay Soto of Truely Unique kindly volunteered to help with that effort. Supporters of healthy intergenerational community, leaders of traditions and older folks with wisdom to share stay tuned! If you would like to join our council, email me for an invitation. Currently the group stays in touch with a secret group on Facebook.

We were asked to lead a ritual for the festival on Sunday. I was happy to oblige, though I was a tiny bit nervous - this would be the biggest circle I had ever led. I planned a ritual of thanksgiving for the harvest in which we thanked all of the powers of the Earth. It went off swimmingly! I think my favorite part was the howling at the end of the ritual, which is a tradition of my Clan.

It took me a long time to write this post. Upon long reflection, I know why - the real harvest of this festival, and of this year, for me...is my place within the community. After PPD, I made a big decision - to go public with my faith.

As I've been stepping into a leadership role these past two years, I created a separate Pagan identity on social media. I used my spiritual name on everything Pagan-related, including this blog. I had and have a lot of good reasons for this decision. I live in the southeastern US, which is a predominantly evangelical Christian area, and quite conservative. I'm a small business owner, and not only that, the type of business I'm in is already a bit fringe-y for this area. Massage therapy still is sometimes mistaken for prostitution here. Yoga is still sometimes mistaken for some sort of Devil worship/Hindu indoctrination here. It is unwise for business owners to be "too colorful" in this area.

Having two identities is a constant struggle: which name to use, which business card to hand out, which website to talk about, which account to post from and on and on. After PPD, I'd had enough. As a first step, I reintegrated my Facebook accounts and came out of the broom closet. I am a medical massage therapist, Yoga therapist & instructor...and I'm also a faith leader in a tradition of shamanistic witchcraft. Let the chips fall where they may - I'm done hiding.

Meanwhile, at home, the leaves are beginning to turn. The tomatoes have flowered again. Pears from our trees have turned into pear butter. Figs from our fig tree have been gobbled up by us, friends, neighbors and bees. The kitties are frolicking. The air conditioner is taking a well-deserved rest. Life is good, and the harvest is rich. I am grateful. Blessed be! 

World Goddess Day 2015

Yesterday, we co-facilitated a World Goddess Day event with our good friends at Gaia's Circle and Triangle Area Pagan Alliance. The World Goddess Day concept was created last year by Claudiney Prieto of Brazil. The idea is to set aside an entire day to celebrate the Divine Feminine all around the world. Pictures and stories are rolling in about events in New Zealand, Brazil, the US and the UK, and many more. What a beautiful sight!

From the World Goddess Day website:

"THE WORLD GODDESS DAY PROJECT emerged to unite the Mother Goddess' worshipers world wide through their many expressions and manifestations. The purpose of the Project is grant to the Goddess one day of visibility to share Her many myths, stories and worship diversity, so everyone will remember or will know that the first religion of humanity was the Worship of the Goddess."

Last year, I hosted an event with South Wake Spiritual Community. We gathered at a local park to meditate and feast. It was a beautiful day. This year, we joined forces to make something even grander with our friends at the Eno River State Park. We had between 25-30 participants, with beautiful, loving energy.

We began by creating sacred space. We called in many names and faces of the Goddess. We sang. We danced, we drummed. We also did my healing meditation from last year. We heal ourselves that we may heal our loved ones, our community, our nation, and the Earth. And of course, we feasted!

The time we spent socializing after the ritual was lovely and important. It turns out that we hosted two

students from Brazil, one of whom had interviewed the creator of World Goddess Day, Claudiney Prieto. What an amazing thing! These lovely people told us that in Brazil, people are very interested in creating a worldwide Pagan community. I was thrilled to hear it - the concept of Pagan unity is near and dear to my heart.

This is the meat of this day, in my mind - coming together. So many people honor the Divine Feminine in so many ways. But so many of us are still forced to live in the shadows. Even those that don't *need* to hide still sometimes do, out of habit or preference. I personally believe that there is strength in numbers. Strong community enriches everyone's path - we can learn so much from each other, even if we hold different beliefs. Perhaps more important even than that is the support we can lend one another.

I told one of the Brazilian students that so many of our groups are small - between 3 and 12 people, usually. Groups that small can't do the things that a large church can do. But if Pagans choose to come together, we too could provide disaster relief, support during illness, counseling services, shared childcare and so much more.

Prayer for Pagan Unity

Dear Eternal Father,

there is so much unrest and disunity

in the world. Help us to embrace

each other and life in peace and

harmony in the Pagan way.

 

Dear Eternal Mother,

we realize there are many different

traditions and paths of faith. Help

us to see past the differences and

unite as one family in total harmony

and love.

So Mote It Be.

I am so grateful for my Pagan community, and for my many allies within it. Together, we can do anything. Next year, let's make our World Goddess Day even bigger and better. Who's in for a Goddess-themed Yoga practice?

Love, healing and peace be upon you and all beings. May the love of the Goddess be ever in your heart. Blessed be the Goddess!

The Revolutionary Fires of Beltane

The Pagan Experience - WK 1- May 4 – Fire –  What ignites your passionate fires? What fuels your spiritual fires? What rages in fire’s destructive wake within you? And, what has healed from the cauterizing flames? How do you honor fire? How will you embrace its transformative powers?

Perhaps at some other moment, I will respond to this prompt point by point. Perhaps I'll also discuss fire as an element, as I have done with other elements. But tonight, on this blessed night of Beltane, this holy time to rekindle the need-fire, this is what I have to say. There are tragedies galore all over the news right now. The suffering has a palpable weight, a smell, a taste, a texture, a sound. It galls in my throat, it clogs my nose, it befouls my mouth, it pains my ears and fills my eyes with tears of sorrow and rage. I cannot bear it. No more. Vive la rivoluzione!

“If we respected each other, if we respected animals, and if we respected the land, then we could dispense with laws and cut the middleman out of morality.”

-       Tom Robbins, Another Roadside Attraction, p. 253

Justice. The real meaning of freedom. Nowadays, these are radical notions. But I say that I will stand. I will speak up. I will not be silenced. We simply must make a change. We must control ego to bring about peace. There must be a change of consciousness, a raising of our collective vibration. We must wake up and unite as a community, as a nation. We must interrupt our daily routines to make our collective will heard:

We want our country back.

This country cannot belong to a privileged few. It was a built with the blood of millions. We sacrificed our lives, our homes, all we had in the pursuit of freedom. Ironically, we first fled here to escape religious tyranny. A tyranny that now threatens to return.

The real tyranny is the use of force. Any group can abuse their power and cloak it with a mask of their choosing. The moment we stop focusing on living our own bliss and instead turn to directing the lives of others, we are lost. We have turned to tyranny.

Perhaps our country now is dissolute. Perhaps we are overfed and decadent. I say this is exactly the goal of that privileged few.

Their tactics are most ingenious and dastardly. They force the lower classes into poverty by shipping industry overseas, where laborers are unprotected by our own democratic laws. Their wealth grows in proportion to the degradations of our own citizens.

Meanwhile, their products are weapons that pacify the populace. Television and all forms of media tell us what to believe: go to work, earn lots of money to enjoy the finer things in life (and we’ll tell you what those are). Believe. Exclude, bully and harass others that are enemies of the state. Be silent, be passive and consume.

Industrial food keeps the populace foggy, sick and addicted. An endless cycle of artificial chemistry to addle our brains: sugar, salt, fat, carbs. Dead food. Not food at all. Bloated, sick bodies cannot resist the whims of our ruling class. We can barely get through the week, caring for ourselves and our families. Fomenting a real revolution is currently beyond our means.

With a pacified populace and an endless supply of capital, the tyrants turn to larger prey: the world stage of politics, war and trade. This too is a cycle – start a war to create demand for defense contractors, stimulate the economy, make more money, consolidate more power…lather, rinse, and repeat.

The global players vie for control of resources. People, animals, plants, all of our natural resources and our blessed Earth itself, these things are bought and sold, used and abused. Like a diseased animal, the global economy fouls its own nest, with no regard for its own survival, much less that of its descendants.

I say to you, all my relations, what shall we do?

We must unite.

We must act.

We must not use violence to achieve our goals. As a person acts so does s/he become. We must first heal ourselves in body, mind and spirit, in thought, word and deed.

It begins with self-love. It begins with the knowledge that all beings have worth. All beings have their place in the web of life. What we do to any part of the web affects the entire web.

We must practice love. We must practice compassion. We must practice freedom. We must practice peace.

We must rise above the urge to harm, to diminish the light of others. We must accept that our differences make us strong, and that we are strongest together.

We must unite.

We must act.

We must remake this country. Reclaim it. Re-sanctify it wit the pure light of freedom, of justice for ALL. We must have equality, dignity and opportunity to thrive.

We must take our country back.

So mote it be.

A Come to the Goddess Talk

The Pagan Experience - Wk 4- Apr. 29 – Any writing for the letters G or H - I am keeping this familiar format on week 4 for those who have joined me from the Pagan Blog Project.

US citizens are probably familiar with the expression "come to Jesus". For example, if you know a young person who is acting up, you might say "Come here, you and I need to have a come to Jesus". As Pagans, I think we need to have a come to the Goddess chat.

As many of you know, I am both the High Priestess of a shamanistic witchcraft tradition, as well as an interfaith priestess with an interfaith and secular spiritual community. This week, I'm mad as Hades. Not into rants? Don't want to hear a truth? Leave now.

I see the USA becoming a battleground for large corporations, many of whom who are using religion as a polarizing force in their ongoing mission to strip the world of resources and crush the masses beneath their gilded heels.

I see our government, which began in response to religious and political tyranny, teetering between positive cultural change and regressive faith-based policy. We were specifically chartered as a secular government, yet we are still seeing debates about religious laws.

As a nation, we are actively fighting Islamic extremists, and supporters of this war decry their sharia law. Yet they want to institute the same thing here. Legislators and judges are trying to pass laws that say they don't have to do their job if it contradicts their religious beliefs. Their job is to serve the public - ALL OF THE PUBLIC. Any legislation that interferes with this mission is directly and starkly unconstitutional.

Iowa recently did a brave thing in having in having a Wiccan priestess give the invocation to begin a day of legislative work. Rep. Liz Bennett invited the speaker, and she has this to say about religious freedom and our government:

"When we say we believe in religious freedom and we believe in religious liberty, that means that we don't endorse one religion over another as a government," Bennett said. "And in fact, when you look at other countries who do show preference or endorsement for one religion over another, you can see it's not a very good situation. That's something the founders of our nation knew."

The fact that this occurred is a beautiful step forward. It was received respectfully by some, but others chose to turn their back or absent themselves from the proceedings. Others even organized prayer protests at the Capitol building in response. As if the very hearing of words from another faith would somehow besmirch them. As if their religion, which happens to be the majority religion in this case, holds the only truth in the world, and only they have the right to speak in public. I have so many problems with this, but that is truly another post unto itself.

In the midst of all this, we Pagans continue to bicker, exclude and bully. I chatted with a friend this week. It turned into a mutual venting session, which I think that we both really needed at the time. We both are community leaders, and we both are passionate about our need to unite as a community. She shared with me her frustrations about lack of support, gossiping, apathy, and exclusion. I was shocked and saddened. It seems to me that this conflict was about ego and pettiness. It seems that some people would rather be in the limelight and in control, rather than supporting my friend's sincere and altruistic goals for our community as a whole.

Look here, people: we cannot afford the infighting right now. There is no room for your ego here, in this tumultuous age of environmental crisis, political instability and war. We do not have the luxury of wasting our energy on gossip. Our apathy and cynicism is killing almost every attempt to unite and elevate us as a community.

I don't care what path you follow. I don't care what tradition to which you belong. I don't care how much training you have. I don't care how many degrees you have, what garter you wear. I don't care about your pins, your crowns, or your special robes. I don't care what you call yourself.

Ask yourself this one question: am I inside the Big Tent of Paganism? Before you say no, read the article. John Beckett has done a great job of describing what this blanket term means and how it is valuable to all of us: "Druids and Wiccans, Heathens and Hellenists, Thelemites and chaos magicians, shamans and seers, kitchen witches and tree huggers – there’s room for everyone."

So you're in the tent? Congratulations. That makes you part of a controversial minority faith, which honestly, is a dangerous place to be in some parts of the world, including mine. It should not be dangerous to you within the community. I myself have experienced the exclusion, the lack of welcome, the cliques, the judgments, the back-door deals. I've heard stories from so many Pagans over the years, both from newbies and experienced practitioners alike.

Why do we decry the poor behavior of other faiths, yet treat our own community with scorn and derision? Why do we hate being judged, but we ourselves judge our brothers and sisters? Why do we whine about the lack of gathering spaces, but refuse to support those trying to create them? Why do we kvetch about the difficulty of finding groups and resources, but hamstring the attempts of those who wish to unite us?

It has to stop. Right here, right now, with each of us. I wrote a blog post last year about suggestions for good Pagan citizenship. Check it out. Have suggestions of your own? Comment on this post. I truly welcome your feedback and input.

To summarize: be good to each other. Stop the drama, the gossip and the infighting. Show up, speak up and DO SOMETHING NOW. Join your local Pagan Alliance. Go to a local festival or retreat. Fight the apathy and let's make some magic happen!

Remember, we are all in this together, and we are stronger together. I believe in this community. I know we can do this!

With perfect love and perfect trust,

Tanaria

Happy Earth Day!

This is a most beautifully written and powerful statement. As citizens of the Earth, I think that no matter what faith or path we follow, this is the most important work we can do at this point in history. Every day, more and more devastating environmental impact is felt from the actions of humanity. While the Earth is self-correcting, that ability may not be limitless. Let's not find out, shall we?

I am proud to sign it in my own name and in the name of Clan of the Wildlings. Thank you to Beth Owl's Daughter for sharing. Will you join us? 

A Pagan Community Statement on the Environment

Who we are

Paganism is a family of spiritual paths rooted in ancestral religions throughout the world and predating recorded history. As explained by the Pagan Federation, Paganism includes polytheistic and pantheistic nature-worshipping religions, and often includes deities of all genders, ancestor veneration, and celebrations in tune with our Earth. A full discussion of the many varieties of Paganism is beyond the scope of this statement, but we, the signatories, value life and the natural world as sacred. Thus, Pagan thought leads us to live in harmony with the rhythms of our great Earth.

Nature is sacred

We receive, acknowledge and embrace the sacred in and as nature, though our individual relationships with the natural world are diverse. We recognize that nature encompasses humanity and the planet, and that we are neither above nor separate from the rest of nature. We recognize the ancient wisdom that closeness to nature brings closeness among humanity and all living beings; and when we live as if we are separate from nature, we diminish our compassion for ourselves and for others. Therefore, we affirm the necessity of living sustainably as part of nature.

READ MORE AND SIGN THE STATEMENT

Quietly Healing with Samhain

One of the things I love most about the traditions of our faith is their healing, therapeutic effect on the human psyche. During the years of my own spiritual seeking, I always asked myself two questions when evaluating a tradition or practice:

1. How does this make me feel? If I am inexplicably drawn to it, if it sounds my inner bell of "rightness", it's probably a good addition to my spiritual toolbox.

2. Does it work for me? If I feel the alleged benefits or other positive effect, it's probably a good addition to my spiritual toolbox.

Samhain is a time to honor and communicate with our beloved dead. It is the third harvest, the harvest of souls. In many cultures and time periods (including today, in some areas), it was the time of the animal harvest. Livestock were slaughtered to get us through the long, dark days of winter. This also provided enough resources for the rest of the animals to survive the winter as well.

The practice of actively engaging with our ancestors, allies and other dearly departed is a deeply therapeutic one. Culture in the US does not lean this way, overall. In general, death is something to be avoided, distanced from, sanitized and commercially packaged…like everything else. What this leads to is often less effective grieving and delayed healing for the survivors.

I would know. In my short life, I have lost an entire immediate family, plus a lover and many close friends. When my family passed, I inherited the family antiques. For a time, I set up my home with these items and with family portraits. It was too much. I felt I was living in a mausoleum. I sold most of the antiques and put the portraits away.

For years, years in which I did not always formally celebrate the Sabbats, I simply couldn't bear my losses. I unconsciously avoided the ancestral aspect of Samhain. I shut down my emotions on many levels. I didn't speak to my beloved dead or engage with them in any way. It was too painful. Holidays became excruciating. Movies and shows portraying happy families were brutal. It was all just too much.

I made a few attempts, here and there, but it just didn't take.

Fast forward to today. I have built a family of my own. I have been practicing with a coven for several years. I'm an active part of the local Pagan community. This year, I met a medicine woman who does ancestral work. I began to actively engage with my dead. I maintained a table of light. I set up an ancestor altar.

Last night I went and celebrated Samhain with the lovely folks of Church of the Earth. We did very little formal ritual and a whole lot of silent communion with our dead. We had a wonderful Dumb Supper out in a grove. Tables were widely scattered through the clearing, beautifully set with china and crystal for our ancestors. The sounds of classical cello drifted through the crisp night air. When not dining, we quietly sat around a crackling fire pit.

Afterwards, I noticed something big. I didn't cry. I felt emotional, but not dysfunctional. I slowly realized that I'm no longer crushed by grief. Sure, I will always miss these people who are so dear to me. There are times when it is poignant and intense. But last night, at the supper, I caught them up on my news. I told them about the joy and love that is now in my life. About the hard work of building my career and my coven.

This morning I woke up and felt calm. Through my morning Yoga practice, I began to realize that this is what healing feels like. My family and close friends will always be a part of me, and their loss has helped to define who I am as a person. But it's ok. It really is. I can now smile and tell their stories without dissolving into a weeping mass.

So for me, the tradition of Samhain passes the test. It makes me feel good, and it works.

A blessed Samhain to all. May you too be healed by its cleansing power.

Introducing the NC Pagan Elders Council

At the recent Central North Carolina Pagan Pride Day, I hosted a roundtable discussion on Nourishing Healthy Elder Culture. See my previous post for details about the weekend. It was a delight! We had about a dozen attendees, a great turnout for a first time initiative. The biggest need expressed by the group was for connection. This resonated strongly with me, both on a personal level and on the level of my vision for the community.

Connection among the Pagan community at large is vital for our survival and well-being. We are an incredibly diverse group, and many of us are still in the shadows. We don't even know the extent of our faith in many areas. Most groups are small, with limited resources. It is my opinion that every chance we get, we need to participate in alliances and group events. In my local area, the Triangle Area Pagan Alliance is one such organization. Pagan Pride Day is another good example.

Connection between the generations is also an important thing for us to promote as the Pagan community matures. Contemporary Paganism started picking up steam in the mid-20th century, and many of the leaders are now Elders in fact as well as function. Many others are raising families and are moving toward Eldership as well. Meanwhile, young people continue to be drawn toward our path. All of the age groups have needs, and all can help each other. Connecting the generations is the way to coordinate that assistance, as well as support the growth and continuity of our traditions and wider community.

I am pleased to announce the formation of the North Carolina Pagan Elders Council. We will begin small and see where this initiative takes us. I created a secret Facebook group to use as a forum. Next week, I will be attending the Pagan Pride Day planning meeting for the 2015 event. At that meeting, I will be proposing an Elder-led ritual at next year's Pagan Pride Day festival and an official Elders Council.

The Elders Council will be a discussion circle for all the generations to come together and discuss how we can foster healthy multi-generational support in our communities. Everyone will have a chance to speak. We will learn from each other. We will make new connections.

Our roundtable attendees also expressed a desire for celebration, which led to the idea for the Elder-led ritual. I think this is a wonderful opportunity for us to celebrate and honor our Elders, as well as to give them visibility in our community. The details of the ritual will be determined by the participants as next year's Pagan Pride Day draws closer.

All are welcome, Elder, Younger and all those in between. If you would like to join us, email me to be added to the Facebook group. If you are outside North Carolina, consider forming your own Elders Council. I'd be happy to discuss and support your efforts. If you are doing this in your community already, please comment on this post or drop me a line. Let's work together to heal the generations and improve the health of our communities!

Unity at Pagan Pride

This weekend, central North Carolina celebrated Pagan Pride Day (PPD) with a weekend-long festival. We are blessed to have a lovely little corner of the state fairgrounds in Raleigh, with trees, a lake view and some privacy for those still in the broom closet. Being so close to Mabon was an extra magical blessing for the festival as well.

This year I was able to spend the entire weekend at the festival, and I'm so glad that I did. I've been in the Raleigh area for five years now, and I'm beginning to reap the harvest of community building for myself. It was hard to get anything done at the festival, because I constantly kept running into friends, colleagues and acquaintances. This is a joy and a blessing to me, and truly a new thing.

I won a gift bag from Tree of Life Designs!

Though I have been an actively practicing Pagan for over 20 years, I haven't always been this lucky. To me, it is still a beautiful and wondrous thing to know so many wonderful Pagans. I know a couple of vendors. I'm familiar with the local shops. I know drummers and dancers, hoopers and fire spinners. I know people from several of the local groups. I now run a local group myself. We're coming up on our one year anniversary, in fact - this December will mark a year of South Wake Spiritual Community!

All this only strengthens my passion for community building. I truly believe that we are stronger together, no matter what our individual path may be. Of course, as an interfaith priestess, I believe this about all people, but right at the moment I'm referring to the Pagan community. We have become so incredibly diverse, and this year's PPD showcased that fact as well. I had a lovely discussion with a gentleman at a local Heathen group's booth. I met a gentleman who is a veteran of years of Pagan community building in the northeast.

I was honored to assist the Triangle Area Pagan Alliance (TAPA) with the group ritual on Saturday. The ritual focused on the spirits of place and it was lovely. I acted as a den mother for the people in the southern quarter of the circle. We called out to the land spirits, to the nature spirits, to the bounty of the fruit harvest in this fertile area. TAPA, for those that don't know, is a group committed to bringing Pagans together in this area and to connecting people with local groups.

My roundtable discussion, Nourishing Healthy Elder Culture, was a success. My goal was twofold: I wanted to introduce the concept of elder culture into our local community and to gauge the needs of our local elders. It turns out that our elders need to connect with each other and to receive training in how to assume the role of eldership. These are some pretty achievable goals, and I will be happy to help. I plan to facilitate an Elder Council at next year’s PPD. I’d also like to organize an elder-led ritual at PPD. I’ll also create a forum, whether it be on Meetup, Yahoo Groups or Facebook, for elders to connect with each other.

Somewhere in all the chaos, I also got to attend a workshop on bellydance and one on the magical uses of seven day novena candles. Both were delightful and very useful to me personally. I did some shopping. I danced. I also chatted with a few people about the South Wake Spiritual Community.

But most importantly, I basked in the positive energy of our local Pagan community coming together in unity at PPD. It was a joy and delight just to be there, people watching and listening to music. So many kinds of people, all harmoniously co-existing. Each marching to the beat of their own drummer. All sparkling threads in the tapestry of our community. To me, this shows that peace is possible. It can be done and we're doing it!

Blessed be!

30 Days of Deity Devotion: Day 5 - World Goddess Day

Happy World Goddess Day!

From the World Goddess Day website:

"THE WORLD GODDESS DAY PROJECT emerged to unite the Mother Goddess' worshipers world wide through their many expressions and manifestations. The purpose of the Project is grant to the Goddess one day of visibility to share Her many myths, stories and worship diversity, so everyone will remember or will know that the first religion of humanity was the Worship of the Goddess."

I hosted a World Goddess Day event with my interfaith spiritual group at a local park. In the interest of being inclusionary, the event was a relaxed, non-denominational affair. We shared a potluck lunch, strolled through the lovely forest, napped, shared our experiences and meditated to heal the Earth.

It was so lovely. I sincerely wish we had planned an even longer event. I love to use my energy for a good purpose, and there aren't many that trump healing the planet. I also could not think of a more fitting topic for today's 30 Days of Deity Devotion post. What higher form of sacrifice is there than to give your time and energy to the Gods? To gather people together, connect with others around the globe and do magic for the good of all beings. For the good of our home. 

This, all human beings ought to be able to agree upon. We may disagree on everything else, but for this purpose, we must unite. We need to work together to find a way to heal the conflict between human beings, between nations, between religions, between genders, between races.

We need to find a way for the human race to live in harmony with the needs of the greater ecosystem. This is essential for our survival as a species on Earth, though most days I retain enough optimism to think that She will carry on even if we self-destruct. Her way is one of implacable victory and irrepressible adaptation.

At the end of our meditation, I taught the group a song, "The Earth is Our Mother" (see video at right). She is Mother to us all. From Her, all of creation has sprung. To her, we must all return. It does not matter what you call Her, or that you even think of this swirling ball of elements and energy as a Deity or as Goddess…our Earth is our Mother. We must take care of Her. She will take care of us.

I leave you with a lovely prayer, adapted and expanded from "Artemis" by Kat Brown
:

Mother of Life, hear our prayer


Light into dark, dark into life


Queen of the Earth, the sea and sky


Mother of all


Artemis, Artemis

We call to you, Mother

We honor you, Goddess of the Crescent Moon

We walk in beauty 

Each step a prayer

Upon your sacred Earth.

Love, healing and peace be upon you and all beings. May the love of the Goddess be ever in your heart. Blessed be! 

Leadership: A New Paradigm

These last few years, I have been stepping more into leadership roles in a variety of contexts. Being the insatiably curious and analytical person that I am, this has made me think about what leadership is and what sort of leader I want to become.

Life experience has shown me many an example of the sort of leader I do NOT want to become. I’ve met them all: crooked bosses, teachers with inferiority complexes, male relatives who think that might=right, power mad martial arts instructors, women with something to prove, hypocritical clergy and any number of leaders who simply can’t or won’t do their jobs.

It’s possible that I learned the most from these people. Most of my professional career has been spent working for companies and corporations, and there, in that pressure-cooker environment, I was forced to deal with my issues around authority.

The hard truth is that when you work for someone else, you are stuck with not only your job and your co-workers, but your leaders as well. It doesn’t matter if they’re good at their job. Most are not, in my experience. Most are more concerned with their next bonus and avoiding blame from those higher on the ladder. It doesn't matter if you like them, or if they like you. You're stuck with them, they're stuck with you, and the wise person makes the best of it.

So there I was; an idealistic Pagan stuck in corporate America. Once called The Crusader, I was now forced to deal with deeply imperfect leaders who often did not care about the right thing to do. People who often created double and triple work due to their ineptitude or rampant egos. People who were more than happy to use my skills and talents, but who rarely rewarded me according to my merit. People who enforced rules for the sake of rules.          

It was then that I learned what leadership is: being willing to make decisions, whether they are good decisions or not.

That’s not the only thing involved in leadership, of course. It helps to have natural charisma and an ability to persuade and relate to people. A sense of responsibility, a willingness to show up – all of these things are part of leadership.

I was also lucky enough to meet some good leaders, both in person and in print. People who showed me that leadership could be more than just “because I told you so”. People who honored their part of the bargain. People who know that it isn’t a weakness to admit ignorance and ask for input.        

Also along the way, I was introduced to a variety of books and seminars about leadership. The corporate world is obsessed with such. Much of it is bunk, to be quite frank. They could rename most every corporate leadership training program thusly: “How to make high profits while only pretending to give a @#?! about your employees to get their best performance out of them”. Despite this, I did learn a lot. The business world is changing, albeit slowly. The paradigm of leadership is evolving, thank Goddess. It’s entirely due to the times and the generations – we’re moving from an authoritarian regime to one that encourages creativity and collaboration.

To learn more about this concept, check out this great infographic I found. Here are some characteristics of the old paradigm of leadership vs. the new paradigm of leadership:

Old Paradigm

• Controlling
• Fear 
• Do as I say, not as I do
• Lavish or out of balance lifestyle
• Taking credit for the ideas and work of others
• Stagnation
• Blame mentality
• Passing the buck

New Paradigm

• Collaborative
• Inspirational
• Respect based
• Mutual accountability
• Lead by example
• Acknowledging others' talents
• Continuing personal and professional growth
• Solution mentality
• Taking responsibility

I know what kind of leader I want to be. I want to be the kind of person that people follow because they respect and trust me. The kind of person that people listen to because they know I have something useful, inspiring or important to say. The kind of person who can be counted on to show up, get it done and give a good hug to boot. I think I am that person now, but I know for certain that I’ll continue to strive to be in the years to come, as a healthcare professional, as a community leader and as a priestess.