Monday, April 14, 2014

UPDATE: Single Gender Gatherings

I just returned from a powerful week's class, and I have so many thoughts I want to get out!! So brace yourself, internets - I'm about to get all intense up in here for a while.

First off, in my previous post, Gender, Sexuality and Paganism, I addressed the question of single gender gatherings in the Pagan community. Should we have them? How does that impact our transgendered community members? 

During this class I attended, I got the chance to speak with a young person who does not identify with any gender and is biologically male. He expressed feelings of exclusion created by attending gatherings with perhaps only one variety of single gender gathering - the red tent for biologically female women. 

He says to him, that having single gender gatherings enforces gender roles that do not fit him. He feels that we ought to focus on a post-gender model of humanity. In my younger years, I would have agreed whole-heartedly. Back then, I didn't see myself as a feminist. I naively believed that feminism was a dead issue that creates division. Why don't we move past that and just try to be good human beings?

Maturity has shown me that as a culture, the USA is not there yet. We still have gender inequality. We still have segments of the population that are misogynistic. Feminism still has a role to play in healing our culture. We also now are seeing issues of violence and discrimination against our trans community. Perhaps we need some sort of movement to address that. I'm not the person to do it, but I did sense a real need for one. I want to see our gender fluid, transgendered, transsexual, asexual and other identifications of people be honored and given equality with everyone else.

My personal opinion is that we've made a lot of progress in the social justice arena. That's fabulous, and I wholeheartedly support current and future efforts to continue our work. But what that means for us right now is that we are in the process of re-defining our gender roles. 

As we Pagans know, what is present in the whole (nation) is also present in each part (Pagan community). What does it mean to be a man, woman, asexual, or transgendered person in this day and age? What does it mean for our society as a whole? What does it mean for our Pagan community? What should we do about it?

It seems to me that part of what's behind these questions is the impact of Paganism upon our work to re-define gender roles. In following the Pagan path, we are reaching back to ancient wisdom and ancestral ways of being, even if we do not have intact lineages to work with. And surely, men and women did have specific and different roles to play in life. A few cultures had customs surrounding people of other gender identifications/sexualities, but not many that I know about.

I don't think we ought to get too hidebound about ancestral gender roles. I certainly don't have a wish to go back to being barefoot and pregnant, for example! As I've been writing, we have the rare opportunity to learn from the past and to create something new and better. Why not consciously build in support for our community members who do not identify as male or female?

This will mean that we need leadership. Someone has to lead the charge. Someone has to create a space. But what will we call it? If we have men's circles and women's circles (Moon Lodges, Red Tents, etc)...what is the third category called? 

The young man I spoke with suggested a solution that he has seen at least once: having a Sun Tent (biologically male), Moon Tent (biologically female), and a Star Tent (everyone else).

I like it. It gives us a way to refer to the various groups without treading on any toes. 

What do you think? I'd really enjoy hearing some viewpoints on this issue. Any LGBT-savvy people with an insight? 

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