My Path

Wk 5- June 29 – Tell us a little bit about how you came to your current spiritual path and what has held your intention to remain on it.  

My father used to tell me to open my eyes and look around. I have so many memories of driving around with him; I remember the trips more clearly than the destinations. He would tell me to look and then to tell him what I saw. Animals, plants, spirit lights, it was all valid.

From my earliest memories, I saw. I noticed. I felt connected to everything, part of nature. My family was outdoorsy. We camped, went on nature hikes, collected wild foods and lived on a self-sustaining homestead. Outside, I encountered awe and wonder.

Now, my family was also Catholic, so I do have memories of church. I remember scratchy clothes and discomfort. Boredom. Droning voices that went on and on. Sitting, standing, kneeling in some incomprehensible rhythm.

But then my family split up. My mother gained primary custody. After that, I remember her telling me that if God was everywhere, then she didn't have to talk to Him in a building created by humanity. Translation: no more church.

It wasn't long before I started to learn about alternative views. Books were my first entry point. I remember having a book about fortune telling. If memory serves, it was an overview of different methods like palmistry, tea leaves, and Tarot. And surely, I began to practice.

Meanwhile, other early memories were of building fairy houses in the woods, creating potions from berries, leaves, roots and other such witchy activities. So far as I know, no one taught me to do this. Though thinking back, I suppose I did like 'I Dream of Jeannie' and 'Bewitched' on TV. I don't remember ever thinking that was how magic actually worked, or wanting to be like them.

I also remember when my mother decided I should enter some type of scouting organization. I took one look at the Indian Princesses and grew angry, though I didn't know why at the time. The Girl Scouts won out. This was ultimately unsatisfying for me - I hated selling cookies and my troop never did anything as cool as my parents.

We continued on, camping, hiking, sailing, and paddling. We joined the Raleigh Ski & Outing Club, which at the time was a pre-Meetup meetup group that went on fun adventures together. I was one of those kids that hung with adults as much as people my own age. I met a lot of interesting people in this club, and learned about yet more alternative ways of thinking, living and being. Always, experiences in nature are what brought me close to the Divine.

By age 8 or 9, I began to study religion. I wanted to understand the history I was being taught in school, and why so many of these religious wars had been fought. I didn't like what I found. There are good messages in the major world religions, it's true. Truth is present in all paths. But nothing felt like home to me. Nothing fit.

Somewhere in there, I found the catalogue of the Pyramid Collection. I don't remember how I found it, but back in those days it was much more Pagan. I ordered some books from their small selection, and suddenly I had found my path. Things started to happen quickly after that. I went off to middle school, met more of my kind of people, traded books with people, and then self-initiated.

From there, my path truly has been winding and crooked. I have explored in all sorts of directions. Nature, divination, crystals, healing, animal guides, and living in harmony with the Earth…these things are deeply woven into my path. I've learned from many a spiritual tradition, and I've been blessed to meet teachers from all over the world.

My adventures in Nature have always fed and furthered my spiritual path. Mountains, rivers and forests are sources of power to me. Backpacking allowed me to reach unspoiled places, places that feed my spirit, test my limits and put me face to face with the Divine.

What keeps me on my path at this point in my life is functionality. As I've discussed in some other blog posts, I've overcome some huge obstacles and tragedies. My spiritual path is why I'm alive and functional. My path keeps me happy, challenged and growing. 

Just like a trail through the mountains, my spiritual path is full of surprises, ordeals, blessings and beautiful views. I must admit that part of the reason why I keep going is to see what is around the next bend. I'm an inveterate explorer. Realizing now that it is 25 years since my first initiation. Here's to the next 25 years of awesome shamanic witchcraft yogini-ness!