Etiquette in the Circle and Among Pagans in General: A Way Forward

Paganism is a new faith, a re-imagining of what Earth-based spirituality can be, and for some, a re-invention and/or re-construction of what was. Since we are doing something new, we have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of the past and of other faiths. I think, overall, the Pagan community is doing just that. Of course there will be exceptions, just as there are in any group of human beings.

But in my opinion, as a community we struggle with etiquette. It's understandable - we are the antithesis of an organized religion. The pagan community is a loose confederation of groups, among whom there is a huge amount of variation in belief, structure and tradition. With so many different types of people and so many different beliefs, how can we possibly agree on a system of etiquette?

It's simple, and our very faith provides the answer. Many of us (not all) believe in the Rede: "And it harm none, do as you will". Even if you don't personally follow that law, it's certainly a good guideline for attending events and for participating in community.

While thinking about and researching this concept, I found two very good resources for detailed rules of etiquette for the circle and for pagan community. What I want to focus on is a few key concepts that will help us not only have a more harmonious community, but gain more legitimacy as a faith:

1. Transcend the ego and squelch drama: Don't gossip, don't bring your disagreements with others into the group or the circle, and please, don't go on and on about your 137th level Gardnerian Grand Poobah rank or what have you.  Be the change you want to see - model respectful, compassionate participation in community.
2. Honor your Commitments:  Take responsibility for yourself and show respect to the members of your community and ritual leaders by RSVPing to events, showing up at the appointed hour, and being ready to participate with assigned pre-work, food, etc. Pagan Standard Time and other such nonsense perpetuates the perception that pagans are flaky weirdos. 
3. Support the community: Real community happens when everyone works together. Put money in the donation jar when it is passed around. Shop at your local New Age or pagan shop, even if they charge a dollar more for incense. Support your local pagan or pagan-friendly artists and professionals. Also, list your group or business on Witchvox. Join your local pagan alliance. Go to your local pagan festival. If you don't have it in your area, start it!
4. Show Tolerance: Don't judge other traditions as lesser than yours. Don't perpetuate the "my religion is better than yours" game. Also, don't play the victim. None of us lived through the Burning Times in this lifetime! Let's move past it - assume that people will accept and respect you. If you walk into a room with a chip on your shoulder, that sets the stage for conflict.
5. Vote: Keep up with what is happening in your area, and vote for officials who support equal rights for all. If you don't do that, you don't get to complain about the government!

It's going to take more than a few Facebook likes to make it happen, gang. Take real action in the real world. Speak up, participate, advocate - and be good to each other!